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The ROOT of Suffering

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Unnecessary suffering is created when we refuse to acknowledge and accept the present moment as it is.

NOT as we would like it to be.

Or attached to it being any different than what IS.

A lot of people right now are in denial.

They do not want to look at the truth of the situation.

The dangers, problems, calamities and challenges of the pandemic.

As well as the opportunities, gifts and lessons.

Most people do this with their loved ones:

Ongoingly holding them against an (imaginary) ideal

And measuring them on their shortcomings

Wishing for what it could be,

And in love with the “potential” of this person.

The possibly (but unlikely) future of this relationship.

To fall in love with potentials and to be attached to life being different than it is – based on our arbitrary judgements of what we deem right and wrong – is a guaranteed road towards disappointment, frustration and resentment.

Why is she like this?

Why isn’t he like that?

Why is my life like THIS?

Why is the world like THAT?

We hide our desire for a different version of reality as ambition.

Sometimes we package it as hope.

But what it is (at its core) is sadness.

An unaddressed grief around the pain of our perceived inability to healthily cope with the plate we’ve been served.

A sort of spiritual anguish at the thought that we might have been left out, forgotten and abandoned by life (the universe, the creator, God or nature)

A sense of having missed the “blessings”-train.

And feeling we are stuck with a shitty situation (or partner).

I feel your pain…

AND I invite you to consider this:

How out of line and bad would your decisions be – in the midst of a poker game – if you were convinced you had a pair of Aces while in reality you were dealt a challenging hand?

You’d probably put all you had in all the wrong moments.

Because of your delusion – of wanting things to be different than they are.

However, the moment you look at WHAT IS, and the cards you were dealt, without wishing they were any different…

That is the moment your responsibility, creativity and conscious action kick into gear.

You become mindful.

You become aware.

You surf the wave instead of drowning resisting it.

You make the right moves.

And you actually have a good chance -if played right- at kicking ass and winning the game.

It is ONLY when we make peace, accept and stop desiring for things to be different than they are, that we start using all that energy and brain power towards making the most of what IS.

And anyone who has played poker knows that specific and juicy flavor of winning a match with a challenging hand.

It is savoured with deeper appreciation!

So never, ever complain.

Play what you’re dealt.

Play it well.

Play it joyfully.

Make your best move

and trust the rest.

At the very least, it will put off the anxiety, worries and it will make for a more entertaining and exciting game.

Nicolas Canon
Nico Canon is an artist, writer and dating coach. His art and writing are about reclaiming our right to be seduced by our lives and relationships. Through his work he explores the links between people and their deepest and rawest desires, opening up a bridge of self-expression and acceptance.

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