After all, look around!
What a big mess we’ve made of all things related to love, sex and connection.
You better be wife material, independent and ambitious, sexy and adventurous, but reserved and innocent, a friend, lover and often a mother.. and you better not look different as you age
Men are peer pressured by the societal quest towards validation, status and approval of women..
You better be a ladies man and be with the “hot ones” for your worth will be measured by that, together with the size of your biceps and wallet, and the unnatural weight you’re able to bench press, paired with other’s expectations for you to be strong, not need help and don’t you dare think about crying.
Then most of us grow in direct contact with the unhealthy expression of feminine and masculine energies:
Out of balance parents, winging it all along..
Some sim by being too much, some by their absence, most by both.
Controlling mothers, violent fathers, insecure, disconnected, overburdened and under-aware..
Most parents struggled with a lot of trauma they never had the time (nor the bandwidth) to address.
So the pain they weren’t willing (or able) to heal, became the pain we inherited and they made us feel.
Throw in the mix a school system that thrives of subjugation, compliance and obedience: AKA the relinquishing of your boundaries and sovereignty.
Absent guidance and role models on healthy relating, honest communication and effective conflict resolution are the canvas from which we operate..
And there’s so much more.
You’re trying to pain a masterpiece with broken brushes and a dirty canvas full of holes..
It’s not easy.
Your tension, confusion and pain in relationships is justified..
You have a million GOOD reasons to feel frustration, resentment and bitterness (towards society, parents and partners)
Yet, you only need one for it to change:
It’s YOUR life, and you’re ultimately in charge.
you are the captain of your soul and -even though the waves of the ocean seem to be against you- you can choose to rise and become a skillet sailor..
Rescuing the survivors of other shipwrecks..
Extending a loving hand and a wise word into every corner that’s been forgotten, abandoned and misled by the world.
Your pain is justified,
yet your transformation is required.
You’ve got a million reasons to suffer your relationships..
But you only need one to enjoy them:
Because YOU can.