Your nervous system will get dysregulated if you are in the company of someone you cannot trust for extended periods of time.

The anxiety, fear and excess thought process will weight heavy on your shoulders and you will pay a steep price for it.

If on top of this you add a partner that is financially reliant on you, spiritually unaware or emotionally avoidant (or irresponsible)..

You’re paving your own way to hell.

Now, I wrote ‘wrong* man’ at the beginning for a very important reason..

One many of you will not like:

*There’s no such thing as a wrong choice when it comes to dating & relationships.

Period.

It may have been an unconscious choice (made by your wounding, attachments, fears and desires)

But there’s nothing “wrong” about it.

Every. Single. Person. that you date, is the correct match to where you’re honestly at…

Every man (or every part of your man) mirror the level of embodiment and openness of heart that you carry.

If this sentence triggers you, then there may be a gap between where you imagine you actually are (in terms of your relational and spiritual development) and where you TRULY are.

Imagine you were a size 10, but in your head you thought you’re a size 2…

You’d waste a lot of time and put yourself through a lot of pain, judging the clothes or the manufacturer as wrong for as long as you’re avoiding coming to terms with the truth.

But once you embrace the truth, you can actually move towards where you want to be.

The sooner you’re willing to embrace reality and OWN the kind of men and relationships you’re attracting, the sooner you’ll be able to do the work required to be an actual right fit to the type of men you desire.

“F*&$ You Nico! how dare you blame women for men’s immaturity? how is it now MY responsibility what a man does or doesn’t?” Will say the woman for whom personal responsibility is riddled with shame.

In that reactive response lies a big reason of why you may be attracting boys instead of men.

And for the Women who are actually aware enough to be willing to look within and figure out what part of their heart is keeping love at bay, I honor you for the strength and humility it takes to take full responsibility for inviting love in..

And I also feel you.

Men are not easy.

And most men are yet to mature.

Yet I also promise you that in a world with 7.88 Billion people, there’s more than enough conscious, handsome, committed and masculine men to go around..

Waiting for you to fully open up your heart, soften your edges and heal the stories that keep you closed off.