Unwillingness to sit with a difficult emotion leads to either dismissing it or dumping it on another.
Be careful with anyone who justifies aggression under the pseudo-spiritual idea of “making room to express the full truth of my emotions.”
Natural and always welcomed..
Aggression is a lashing out.
The closure and violation that happens when someone is unwilling to fully own their anger.
In relationship, make it safe for your partner to feel anger in relationship with you.
And make it a sacred standard to never entertain any form of aggression.
We can be witnessed in our emotional complexity..
This creates intimacy.
Or we can hurt and vomit all over our partner in our emotional turmoil..
This plants the seeds of mistrust, resentment and disrespect.
Your anger is sacred,
Your aggression, infantile.
In relationship, a good rule of thumb is to only bring forth that which you would love to receive from your partner..
Is it truth and vulnerability, shared with kindness and inclusivity?
Or is it punishment and distance, shared with the aim to hurt?
What goes around will inevitably come around.