A- Seeing the other as ‘never good enough’ and endlessly chasing greener pastures

B- Projecting attributes and virtues on someone who just does not have them. Wanting to see them fit the ideal instead of wanting to see what’s REAL.

C- Destroying the relationship by the excessive burden placed on it, expecting for it to fulfill roles that it was not designed for.

Let’s be real:

It’s NEVER going to be all sunshine and rainbows.

As any intelligent human would expect from the process of intertwining two different lives together.

To expect for your lover to be the sacred masculine / feminine, while also a wild, untameable sex-hungry beast, a profound, intelligent confidant, biggest supporter, best friend, source of adventure and entertainment…

and the list goes on..

throw in the role of parent and child that most people add to the mix and you have a recipe for guaranteed disaster.

The closest to perfection you will EVER get is finding someone who is:

1- As committed as you are to coming closer, listening and communicating during times of conflict

2- As proactive as you are about taking personal responsibility and doing THEIR OWN work for THEIR OWN reasons

3- As determined to take care of their own well-being, spiritual growth and exploration/expression of their career/purpose.

In ALL relationships Chaos is guaranteed, arguments, ugliness, bitterness and projections based on old traumas..

So what matters is not that you judge the people you love against an arbitrary, imaginary ideal you’ve bought off the internets..

But instead, that you learn to SEE those around you with eyes unstained by expectation or aversion.

Learning to love others in their full humanity and embracing each other’s differences (when reconcilable)

For a love that’s rooted in a dream, is a love founded in illusions.

Disillusionment -inevitably- ensues.

But a love grounded in truth & reality,

is a love that endures and nourishes.

Beauty & harmony follow.