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Unpopular Opinion: It’s easy to look at all the flies and dirty smells around you and say “I deserve better.”

September 17, 2023

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It is hard to consider it is YOU who smells like shit.

I see this constantly, especially during breakups:

Partners subtly (or overtly) trash-talking each other, women labeling their exes as narcissists, lazy, soul-less and passion-less wimps.

Men jaded at the entitled, controlling, emotionally volatile and unstable women they dated.

Rarely do I hear someone asking themselves THE MOST important question (when going through a difficult transition of sorts):

How did I contribute to this situation?

Or in other words..

What is the role I played in what happened?

What was my part in this dance and what can I change from now on?

It’s easy (and lazy) to place the weight of a failed romance on someone else’s shoulders and delude yourself into being “the good guy/girl” (AKA: The victim)

It’s also useless.

For you will end up running into the exact same situation, with different characters, until you are willing to take responsibility for the way you showed up and what you co-created.

So remember:

Once you deal with your shit, the flies and the bad smells go away on their own.

But no amount of running away from them will ever set you free.