If you (and your partner) are able to put your own pain aside in moments when you really don’t want to, you will gracefully surf and grow from every tense situation.
Developing the muscles of curiosity, in-depth listening and impeccable communication ESPECIALLY during conflicts and moments when your own triggers, projections and pain would rather have you be closed, angry and righteous.
If on the other hand, every disagreement ends up turning into an argument, spiraling out of control, leveraging old grudges and throwing in demeaning comments and sarcastic remarks..
You’ll be doomed in no time.
Remember that -statistically- couples who argue ALL the time are just as likely to divorce as those who NEVER argue.
The first because they drown in their pain, the second because they repress it too much.
Your relationship will NOT be perfect (at least not by any romanticized ideals of zero-trouble and eternal joy and giggles).
If you let go of such expectations, you open up to working with what’s real and true.
And only then you actually have a chance at creating something beautiful..
Remember that even the prettiest of flowers and sweetest of fruit trees need both sunlight and sh!t.
For conflict is a given when two lives are brought together,
What matters -at the end of the day- is that you know how to sail through the waves that will come, with a smile on your face.