A: You won’t.

The sooner you give up the delusion that there’s someone out there “perfect” for you, the closer you’ll be to attracting someone who is good for you.

An ideal of perfection deludes you and makes you commit two crimes against those you date:

1: You criticize everyone you meet – for they are never good enough in contrast to your arbitrary, unrealistic ideal of perfection.

2: You exaggerate their good qualities and ignore potential red flags in your eagerness for them to be “the right one” – trying to delude yourself into thinking they’re perfect.

So what’s the alternative?

To give up all standards and settle down?

No.

The alternative is to connect to people from a place of presence, where who they are is recognized and they feel seen..

Virtues and flaws alike..

Honouring each person’s journey and accomplishments with as much love as their shortcomings..

Keeping an open heart and the desire for it to work while at the same time not hesitating on walking away if boundaries are crossed.

And above all, changing the question from “where’s my perfect partner?” To “How can I be the perfect partner?”

Because THAT is in your control.

And once you become a more dynamic, vibrant and healthy lover, you start seeing that the world was actually full of amazing, beautiful people..

And what you thought was scarcity of good men/women in the world, actually meant scarcity of them in YOUR world.

And what a difference it makes when you are willing to see people for whom they are, without attachment -for you know the world is full of great souls..

And without rushing -for you’ve learned to love your own company.

..and along the process, you’ve learned to love yourself so much and so well, that it’s easier (and often inevitable) for others to do so too.