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People have labeled attachment, codependency and lust “love.”

September 5, 2023

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So a love that’s independent and freeing is often misunderstood as carelessness.

Love void of drama, pain and chaos is just boring..

And a romance where the other doesn’t live to please us and our every desire, just isn’t worth exploring.

Love has become about what the other can and will do for us..

How much value they will add to our life..

Barely considering if there’s any value we add to theirs?

Easier to complain that the crops aren’t fertile instead of recognizing that we haven’t been watering the soil.

Easier to place the weight of our felt misery on what someone else is (or isn’t) doing for us, than to recognize we’re inherently miserable at heart.

When you love a flower, do you resent when it doesn’t pay attention to you?

Does the thought even cross your mind?

Should a rose’s fragrance and bloom be directed only towards you?

Isn’t love a state of appreciation and not one of demands and expectations?

I often sit with these questions, as I feel that romances often turn sour the moment we start seeing them as a transaction..

Always trying to give just a little less than them, so that we get the better deal..

Always keeping an eye on what they are not doing well for us, instead of what we could be doing great for them!

Love is the feeling in our heart that arises upon watching a sunset..

Ugliness ensues when arguing to the sun for not setting earlier, being brighter, more colourful or available on demand to us even when his days are cloudy…

The moment we expect for someone else to please us, the weight of our happiness rests on their shoulders.

And the truth is that, there’s only so much you can step on a rose to try and force the fragrance out her..

before the very essence of what you once loved dies at the feet of your demands and long gone appreciation.

for only if you two focus on watering the other -instead of complaining to them for not having bloomed- beauty has a real chance to one day blossom.

🌹
Nicolas Canon
Nico Canon is an artist, writer and dating coach. His art and writing are about reclaiming our right to be seduced by our lives and relationships. Through his work he explores the links between people and their deepest and rawest desires, opening up a bridge of self-expression and acceptance.

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