I’d tell myself I was confused.. I wasn’t ready.. I was waiting for more divine clarity to descend upon me.. for my talents to bloom fully.. for the market to be ready..
I would tell myself I needed one more plant medicine ceremony, another business mentor, abundance coach or accountability course before I was fully FULLY ready..
I spoke of love and harmony while my relationships were full of bitterness, sarcasm and disconnection..
I spoke of abundance and trusting the universe but kept clinging to a job that made me great money but eroded my soul in the process..
I wrote about the masculine and the feminine but kept lying, didn’t keep my word, abused my body and ignored my heart..
What I “knew” and how I spoke was not how I lived.
That’s what held me back..
My mind had moved further ahead than my embodied reality and I unconsciously knew that to teach from that place was nothing but a farce..
To attempt to guide others to a peaceful, loving life when my own was riddled with turmoil, compulsion and confusion was nothing short of fraud..
So I procrastinated over a thousand different excuses, until I faced the truth.
These last years have been a process of that:
becoming humble enough to admit where I’m falling short of whom I could be, and responsible enough to understand it’s my job to diligently take care of it.
And in recent months I’ve finally come to a point where I feel in total integrity.
I have walked more than I now talk.
I have not lied in a long time.
I respect others, myself and life.
And the hardest..
I am now the same in groups as I am when nobody is watching.
I have finally made my bed and organized my house.
Relationships with everyone around me are in a beautiful, thriving state.
It was a rough journey but well worth it for I see that life (and people) gravitate towards my message more and more..
Without selling, convincing or forcing.
For truth is a light that needs no explanation.
And love, its greatest expression
Thank you for being a part of my journey.
I look forward to sharing with you!