I love my wife.. and to this day I still love every single one of my ex-girlfriends and past lovers.
Even the ones with whom the ending was painful, unhealthy and consuming..
Even the ones I once felt betrayed and hurt by..
I love them all.
For only in love can we ever move forward and TRULY let go.
Only love accepts the other fully, together with the situation and its paradoxes, our emotions and the cocktail of complexity that heartbreaks tend to brew.
Only love recognizes the perfection of the encounter and -from this recognition- creates a bridge towards understanding, honour and appreciation of the role our partners (and ourselves) played in the relationship.
Only through full acceptance can we look into a relationship full of pain and see the lessons that came because of it..
The growth, the shifts, the maturity and wisdom that’s only available when a heart breaks open.
I love them because I love myself, and who I am wouldn’t -perhaps- have been possible without them..
I love the beautiful women that were my muses, inspiration and teachers..
And I love the ones that were my mirror in the darkness, the harvest of unwanted karma and the trigger of all the pain I was blinded to..
The ones that nurtured and supported me, seeing myself reflected in their eyes, and the sacredness of the standards they kept, made me believe that I -too- could become a better man..
They made me want to be the man they thought I was.
And the ones whose inner chaos sipped into the relationship, whose wounds led them into deceit, lies, betrayal and violence, they showed me in an overt manner the very same way in which I had -unconsciously- been treating myself internally.
They showed me where my vices, addictions and fears had entangled me and kept me hostage..
And they burned me alive – so that the pain I experienced and the flames of the encounter could become my very own rite of passage:
The turning to ashes and darkness before light and a new flame could be reborn.
So I owe them that.
How not to love someone who played such role in your life?
Beauty or pain – it’s all the same..
For when you look back -with enough wisdom and perspective- you will ALWAYS find that..
..What you once thought was suffering,
was nothing but GRACE.