I will honour the sanctity of this relationship by -before pointing fingers- looking inwards and owning the role I have played in what seems to trouble me.

My happiness is 100% up to me, so that in our relationship, two happy people may come together to SHARE and multiply their happiness with each other..

Never to drain, borrow and consume one another.

You are not responsible for how I feel, nor for making me happy, so -before you try to jump in and rescue me from my own self-abandonment- please remind me of these vows.

Remind me that I’ve let myself go, that I’ve stopped caring for myself, that I’ve stopped doing what brings me joy.

Remind me that I’ve chosen blame, judgement and conflict over responsibility, curiosity and commitment.

Remind me that I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel, once again enslaved by a mind full of fears, worries and delusions..

So that -although uncomfortable- I may choose to wake up once again.

So that I may wake up to a most essential truth:

I alone own my life, my mind, body and my heart.

So that when we come together, we don’t do so out of neediness, desperation or attachment..

But out of choice.

A choice rooted in freedom, not fear..

For choosing is reserved for those who -having reached a place where they’re living a full life on their own- consciously decide to share it with someone else.

Not because they hope someone will complete them and make them happy..

Not because he/she will fill their cup..

But because their own cup is overflowing.

I promise to be responsible for my life, my mood, my health and my joy..

So you are off the hook.”

This is the first, and most important vow of love.