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How do you find “THE ONE”?

July 17, 2023

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You Don’t.

In fact, you quit the quest and give up the fantasy that there’s a woman out there that needs you to rescue her.

You stop pretending that you gotta wait for prince charming to come into your life for it to be complete.

And you get up on your feet!

You stop hanging out with the dwarves (half men) and you stop being an aimless wanderer.

A potential “hero” chasing trouble and drama so that his life may have some meaning.

And you get on with your life.

This is what nobody tells you:

If you want to find love..

Deep, meaningful, devotional, life affirming love..

You must be willing to walk away from seeking it.

You must make peace with your Self and shake hands with your solitude.

Because until you do, other people will be nothing but a means to an end: Distractions from facing the fears that the silence may bring. Pawns playing a role in your anxious attempts to get your needs met..

Be it stability, company, approval, pleasure or some other Disney prince/ss fantasy.

If you want to find “The ONE” you must be at a place where you would be at peace dying alone.

A place where you would be happy ANYWAY.

Then and only then you’re standing in solid ground from which the people that you relate with will come to share and not to take.

You won’t place the weight of your emotional wellbeing on the shoulders of others, nor tolerate others placing it on you.

You will feel IN LOVE with them, not because of what they do for you but because of the place you now stand on.

For love is that space that opens up when we come home to ourselves – not when we leave home to try and find someone else.

Love comes the moment you’re willing to walk away from meek romances and half-assed interactions knowing your solitude is too valuable to trade it in for mere leftovers.

Love arrives the moment that your standards are no longer negotiable upon your immediate needs and compulsions.

It lands the day that you stop seeing yourself as half a life, in need of other to be complete, and start realizing that YOU ARE ALREADY ONE.

“The one” has been YOU all along.

If you can see that, there’s now room for two.

ūüĖ§
Nicolas Canon
Nico Canon is an artist, writer and dating coach. His art and writing are about reclaiming our right to be seduced by our lives and relationships. Through his work he explores the links between people and their deepest and rawest desires, opening up a bridge of self-expression and acceptance.

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