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Desiring our partner is never enough. We must admire them if we want for our relationship to stand the test of time.⏳

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Take this from someone whose main “qualifying criteria” to date for over a decade was mere chemistry, looks and sexual compatibility.

I used to think that love could only thrive and last in a space where the fire of desire kept burning strong..

Unaware that attraction is the spark that ignites the flame, but devotion is the log that turns into long-lasting coals.

I lusted after the women I dated, yet I rarely admired them.

In recent years, I’ve seen my wife bloom into her own gifts, willingness to serve and courage to grow beyond her comfort zone.

I’ve seen her lead groups and hold space in impeccable ways.

I’ve seen her devote herself to the people she serves, leaving no stone unturned and doing whatever it takes.

I’ve seen her bring rooms full of people to tears of grace with her voice..

And awaken wild releases to many others through her Breath of Freedom practice.

Above all, I’ve seen her evolve as a woman and as a result of that; as a lover.

And this admiration I feel is one that goes beyond attraction.

It’s about the life that she is and how committed she is to expressing it.

You can desire your beloved but if you don’t see them as virtuous, competent and worthy of admiration you will never have in you the capacity to bow down in reverence to them.

So you will always look down to them..

Count their shortcomings and wonder if perhaps you could(should) do better.

Passion, void of respect, soon turns into contempt.

Chaos ensues.

So, while desire is necessary to kickstart the merging of two lives remember that devotion is the glue that stabilizes such union.

Our role however, is never to try and “build them up” or coerce them to grow into ‘admiration-worthy beings’

It’s to do our part and live by example..

And to recognize if the person we’re with is someone who sparks something beyond physical attraction.

If your relationship’s fruits are only of desire and comfort, it is bound to find an ugly ending.

So find someone whose appearance you enjoy but don’t get stuck at the gate

Desire is the gate,
Devotion the destination.