NO intention to impose his views on you
And ZERO interest on forcing anything
They feel out of control.
Some of the most toxic partners you will ever attract are likely to be the most OCD ones
Obsessed about things being “clean and perfect” meanwhile their inner world is a mess
A lot of people, when feeling powerless, they start exercising every opportunity they have to control their environment – hoping that it will change the way they feel inside
So they start with their house, employees, family and then their romantic partners
The ignorant belief they carry is this:
The world, others and the environment are the cause of my internal turmoil, therefore if I fix EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, I will feel fine
Unaware that their inner experience is 100% of their making
So the unhealed masculine, in its pain, seeks to control and change the situation by force
Sometimes it is very overt (telling you what you can and cannot do) yet most of the time it is subtle
Subtle controlling behaviour shows up as:
Showing you they know better
Ongoing unsolicited advice
Disapproving your choices
And the worst:
Trying to make you responsible for their emotional world – highlighting how you are guilty of the emotions they are going through
Therefore they are the poor sufferers and you become the heartless tyrant that needs to be corrected
On the other hand, the integrated masculine has the best interest of both in mind:
So his decisions and direction do not need to be enforced.
When you trust him you find that you often end up in a better place
So instead of losing yourself in the relationship, you start finding yourself more and more..
Supported by his conscious leadership
Knowing that you are taken care of and that your “No” is held as sacred and respected
So when in a relationship – Controlling behaviour is a RED FLAG
It means their life is a mess, and therefore they think it is everybody else that needs fixing
The UNHEALED Masculine
controls, imposes and forces.
The HEALED Masculine
leads, inspires and fosters