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An integrated person feels NO need to control you

July 20, 2023


❌NO intention to impose his views on you

❌And ZERO interest on forcing anything

People who feel the need to control and coerce others do so out of a fundamental, unacknowledged pain within themselves:

They feel out of control.

Some of the most toxic partners you will ever attract are likely to be the most OCD ones

Obsessed about things being “clean and perfect” meanwhile their inner world is a mess

A lot of people, when feeling powerless, they start exercising every opportunity they have to control their environment – hoping that it will change the way they feel inside

So they start with their house, employees, family and then their romantic partners

The ignorant belief they carry is this:

The world, others and the environment are the cause of my internal turmoil, therefore if I fix EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, I will feel fine

Unaware that their inner experience is 100% of their making

So the unhealed masculine, in its pain, seeks to control and change the situation by force

Sometimes it is very overt (telling you what you can and cannot do) yet most of the time it is subtle

Subtle controlling behaviour shows up as:


❗Covert manipulation

❗Showing you they know better

❗Ongoing unsolicited advice

❗Disapproving your choices

❗Passive agression

And the worst:


Trying to make you responsible for their emotional world – highlighting how you are guilty of the emotions they are going through

Therefore they are the poor sufferers and you become the heartless tyrant that needs to be corrected

On the other hand, the integrated masculine has the best interest of both in mind:

So his decisions and direction do not need to be enforced.

When you trust him you find that you often end up in a better place

So instead of losing yourself in the relationship, you start finding yourself more and more..

Supported by his conscious leadership

Knowing that you are taken care of and that your “No” is held as sacred and respected

So when in a relationship – Controlling behaviour is a RED FLAG

It means their life is a mess, and therefore they think it is everybody else that needs fixing


The UNHEALED Masculine

controls, imposes and forces.

The HEALED Masculine

leads, inspires and fosters