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A healthy relationship will cost you who you used to be (and then a little more!)

October 4, 2023


This is why it’s called “falling” in love, because something of you has to fall to make room for something greater.

You must be willing to let go of your desire to be right, your hyper-independent tendencies and your habit to try and solve everything alone.

You must renounce your resentments towards attractive men and women as well as the bitterness towards all your past lovers.

You must abandon your desire to be seen as perfect and open up to being real, embracing your flaws and letting your wounds be seen.

Ultimately, you must renounce the part of you that fears commitment and responsibility.

The you that plays small must die, if the “You” that’s ready to co-create legacy (and or family) is to be born.

This is why conscious relationships are rare:

Most people would rather feel in control, be comfortable and responsible only for themselves..

Than dance with the beautiful, alchemizing fires of beauty and chaos that spiritually aligned romance brings.

Yo relate consciously to another human being isn’t easy, for you commit to never again brushing anything under the table..

So of course, “casual”, non-committal, half-hearted love is “safer” in hindsight.

You get to enjoy a love story without substance and bail out the moment your (or your partner’s) deeper truths starts coming up to the surface.

Healthy love demands a willingness to be in connection with your own shadow and the desire to make room for your beloved’s too.

(Notice I said make room for; not fix, coach, change, shame or control)

Conscious love will break your heart open, and that will hurt – just like pouring alcohol on a wound does right before it heals it.

And as Katerina Satori recently shared with me:

‘Pain is the hammer of the Gods to break a dead resistance in the mortal’s heart’ – Sri Aurobindo

So, mind the stakes if you ever decide to ask the universe for sacred partnership.

Be ready to leave it all on the table..

To offer all you’ve got to the altar of love..

And then a little more.