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As I look out the airplane window on my way back to Toronto I feel a profound sense of peace..

I am closer and closer home.. 💛

And I don’t mean the land or the place where I keep “my stuff.”

I used to travel to chase experiences and pleasure, to escape commitment and “boredom.”

I flew around the globe a few times trying to find an elusive sense of fulfillment..

Only to face myself once again in the mirror, miserable, as soon the dopamine rushes had settled and the night highs had come down..

I wanted to fit in so bad, to be respected by men and loved by women..

Yet I did not respect nor love myself.

Today, as I look out the window I feel complete.

I could die a free man and with my head high..

But not because I earned something or achieved some arbitrary success marker…

But because I feel deep in my soul there’s NOTHING I need.

Nothing life could offer me that would have me sacrifice the way I feel within… (and much has been offered.)

I feel the peace and joy of someone with lots of dreams and very few attachments.

I would love to create so much in this life..

To be of greater service..

To do, share, teach and guide..

At a substantially bigger scale..

And I’m also okay if it all were to end right now.

Today I feel grateful for my guru, my elder, ancestors, family and friends along the path..

I bow to nature’s medicines and the grace of God that reaches us through them.

And I say thanks!

For I don’t recognize myself anymore.

And that to me,

is the greatest freedom of them all.

To look within and feel empty.

Not because something is missing

but because nothing, anymore, is lacking.

💙

Imagine every day waking up more in love with a person who is your best friend, most mischievous lover and spiritual partner..

Realizing that the aliveness and radiance that has been nurtured between you two is not only a catalyst for beauty in your own life but a contagious fragrance that touches every corner of every place and heart you two walk by..

A love story that -quite literally- makes the world a brighter place.

A reminder to yourself and to others that what you dream is not only possible but necessary, as you become an inspiring duo for other couples and families.

Imagine a love so profound that there’s no longer room for “what if’s”, doubts, jealousy or insecurities – for you feel each other’s hearts as your own and in the depths of that intimacy, there’s a bond no mortal would dare break.

A sacred bond of such intense energy that it empowers and amplifies your confidence, trust & thrust in life.. (and your finances tangibly reflect this.)

Your increased impact and income being an enjoyable side effect of the affirming strength and clarity with which you walk through this earth, knowing that poverty or wealth, you’ve already made it:

For when there’s true love in your heart, there’s nothing else you need.

Nobody can buy your life (time) nor there’s a deal seductive enough that would have you compromise your truth..

So your work becomes an act of play and divine service, and no longer a survival obligation.

And so it happens that the greater powers of life bestow such couples with the prosperity required for them to be beacons of healing and transformation in their communities.

Your aliveness and magnetism – fruits of well cultivated play and sensual exploration – become the keys that open doors of opportunity previously closed and seemingly unaccessible.

You discover that manifestation is the power to create, and that it’s A LOT easier to create when there’s harmony between the masculine and the feminine poles in your relationship.

You discover, experientially, that 1+1 no longer equals the loss of both, nor 1+1 = 2.

1+1 = 11.

Imagine a love so radiant and juicy that others can’t help themselves from asking you what your secret is..

And the beauty of your connection with your beloved becomes the foundations from which those around you look up to you when it comes to finding, guiding and orienting their own romantic relationships.

And your relationship becomes a seed that heals the earth as it grows stronger and its roots deeper.

What a beautiful possibility to realize that you can have your cake and eat while you’re still alive and that -no matter what they’ve told you, the depressing statistics and naysayers- you’ve proven (once again) to yourself that your dreams exist not as mere ideology or fantasy..

But as a higher calling.

Echoes of the arrival of a future you who knows what’s possible in life, in love and in service.

A love story that frees you from all bondage and brings you home into the lap of the creator / creation.

Now, as I celebrate our 4 year anniversary with my wife, I cannot imagine what other wild adventures and life-affirming surprises this journey has in store for us..

Yet I rejoice the present and eagerly anticipate the cultivation of all the seeds we’ve planted.

AND the truth is that our first years together were far from being like this.

Bitterness, bickering and ongoing drama had pushed us away to the edge of breakup several times.

Frustration and confusion were our daily companions (mostly due to following the advice of a bunch of well-spoken yet unexperienced love “coaches” and polarity “teachers”.)

I carried grief, resentment and pain from previous relationships (and so did she)

I didn’t know how to move past my own heart closures and trust her enough to be vulnerable and open up once again (and neither did she).

But over the years, through patience, guides, jungle amazonian medicines and a relentless commitment, I understood a few key areas that -when tended to consciously- release all that gooey baggage that fuels isolation.

A few keys that when applied in the correct order and with the right guidance and atmosphere open up the doors of love, connection and profound healing.

If you’re single or in a relationship, and your love story is not what it could be (yet) AND you feel in your gut that more is possible for you.

Actually not merely possible, but it has become a necessity.

The next step of growth in your curriculum..

Adventure calls you…

Join my email list, send me a message and I will forward you the details of our next live events.

Cheers. Nico

An eternal symbol of transformation & surrender.

In shamanic traditions the butterfly represents the radically different potential that lies dormant within the caterpillar’s heart.

If caterpillars were asked about what they wanted to get before going into their cocoon they would’ve probably said “a bigger body” “faster legs” “a stronger grip!” or something along the those lines:

A subtle (or big) improvement on what they had known in life.

A minor, positive change on their pre-existing limitations.

But that’s NOT transformation.

Transformation means that nothing of the old remains..

It means that the “new” life is not a result of old conditioning and old wishes but instead, the blooming of a deeper intelligence.

Life’s greatest mysteries expressing themselves in the most unlikely of dances..

Turning lead into gold, not into shinier lead.

The same is possible for you, if you’re willing 🙏🏼

May you invite the energy of transformation into your life and may you welcome it with open arms, for it bears gifts..

However, the gifts often come with a heavy dose of uncertainty and chaos.

For it is not here to bring comfort, subtle improvements or gradual change.

It comes bringing DEATH.

.. and with it,

the possibility of a new rebirth.

🙏🏼

What turned my life around for good wasn’t the hundreds of plant medicine ceremonies or the libraries of self-development books and spiritual teachings I had explored over the years..

t wasn’t the workshops, retreats, or even the intense months living with Colombian shamans..

Nor the chaos, frustration and feelings of being “stuck”, or the pain from a life that felt incongruent and far below my potential..

While they all contributed to a healthier way of living, it was commitment and love that actually saved me.

It was the choice to co-create a beautiful relationship with a woman and taking responsibility for all that this entailed.

I had to deal with all the nonsense of my upbringing, the imbalances between my inner masculine & feminine, the resentment towards mom and dad, the fears of being vulnerable and the unworthiness and confusion about love and dating in general…

I had to address my workaholic tendencies and see it was but a glorified way of hiding from the world..

I had to start thinking of myself as a ‘family man” and wanting to be a more present partner and parent (than my parents had been)..

So I began being more strategic and intentional, working less and earning more ($70k+ months)

I had to heal my addictions and ways in which I was playing small. They came up and now there was nowhere to hide.

Wanting to lead through example I stopped drinking, eating poorly and started taking impeccable care of my mind, body and heart.

And in learning to be FULLY devoted to another, my spiritual journey sped up beyond my wildest dreams.

I am now certain that a relationship is the greatest fire that will either purify you or burn and destroy you.

Some relationships erode your self-worth, destroy your finances, damage your mental health and degrade the way you relate to life..

Some will help you rise above your limitations, becoming prosperous, passionate and peaceful in the process.

But no relationship ever allows you to remain the same.

So choose consciously!

As if your life depended on it, because -to a large degree- it really does.

🔥

I spent a lot of years doubting myself, my ability to serve and the value I had to offer.. and for a good reason.

I’d tell myself I was confused.. I wasn’t ready.. I was waiting for more divine clarity to descend upon me.. for my talents to bloom fully.. for the market to be ready..

I would tell myself I needed one more plant medicine ceremony, another business mentor, abundance coach or accountability course before I was fully FULLY ready..

But in truth -as I reflect- I see that what held me back was my lack of integrity.

I spoke of love and harmony while my relationships were full of bitterness, sarcasm and disconnection..

I spoke of abundance and trusting the universe but kept clinging to a job that made me great money but eroded my soul in the process..

I wrote about the masculine and the feminine but kept lying, didn’t keep my word, abused my body and ignored my heart..

What I “knew” and how I spoke was not how I lived.

That’s what held me back..

My mind had moved further ahead than my embodied reality and I unconsciously knew that to teach from that place was nothing but a farce..

To attempt to guide others to a peaceful, loving life when my own was riddled with turmoil, compulsion and confusion was nothing short of fraud..

So I procrastinated over a thousand different excuses, until I faced the truth.

These last years have been a process of that:

becoming humble enough to admit where I’m falling short of whom I could be, and responsible enough to understand it’s my job to diligently take care of it.

And in recent months I’ve finally come to a point where I feel in total integrity.

I have walked more than I now talk.

I have not lied in a long time.

I respect others, myself and life.

And the hardest..

I am now the same in groups as I am when nobody is watching.

I have finally made my bed and organized my house.

Relationships with everyone around me are in a beautiful, thriving state.

It was a rough journey but well worth it for I see that life (and people) gravitate towards my message more and more..

Without selling, convincing or forcing.

For truth is a light that needs no explanation.

And love, its greatest expression🙏🏼❤️

Thank you for being a part of my journey.

I look forward to sharing with you!

I used to pray for strength..

Life brought me conflict and tension.

Now I move with peace and gentleness.

♥️I used to pray for love.

Life made sure to show me desire & attachment.

Now I move with commitment & devotion.

💨 I used to pray for speed

And life taught me patience.

Now I know better:

You don’t come to the divine trying to strike

a deal, nor you approach a higher

intelligence telling it what to do.

You close your mouth

Open your heart

& surrender to the mystery.

🙏🏼

I shall fully come out of the closet..

The literary closet that is. 📕

Mom, Dad, friends: I am writing a book!

This book is a lifelong dream that was a little overdue.

A baby that for a couple of years has been kicking and pushing, aching to be born..

yet my own fears, confusion and busy-ness had me put it aside and pretend I’d do it “tomorrow” (which is the place where all meaningful dreams go to die)

Finally, I gathered both the courage and the professional support to let it come to life!

I’ve got my book doulas ready and a party planned. 😉

“GRACE” is a book that condenses 15+ years of personal exploration (wins, epic fails, addiction, recovery, scarcity, providence and more) together with 100s of insights I had during my times living in/working with plant medicine communities in the Colombian mountains & jungles.

Therefore, this is a book that marries the spiritual and the practical.

Mystic & material collided into one.

It is a poetic, actionable guide for humans to navigate their inner landscape from a place of pain and into their full power.

This book will be especially useful for those who are in a journey of meaning, depth and consciousness..

However, it is NOT for those who just want to yell affirmations at the mirror, create a vision board, burn sage and expect their life is going to change.

NO.

This book will touch the wound.

It will call you out.

It will pour alcohol all over it..

It will burn.

But it will also heal.

GRACE is for those who are ready for a spiritual journey, grounded in THIS reality.

Connected to their heart, anchored in their body, free in their mind.

Leaders, professionals, healers, fellow entrepreneurs and seekers!

I’m excited to be sharing my life’s work with you soon!!!

Thank you for being a part of this.

♥️

Very few know the tears, the sweat, the blood and above all, the patience and persistency you’ve had to face – against all odds- to be where you are.

I want to acknowledge you, fellow entrepreneur, leader and change-maker for the -often unacknowledged- sacrifices you’ve consciously embraced for the greater good.

People believe that to be independent means you let go of the 9 to 5.

Very few know is that it often becomes 5 to 9 and more..

(at least while systems, delegation and leadership reaches a stable place).

They imagine it must be great not to have a boss..

They don’t know you know have hundreds or thousands – since every client is now your boss in a certain way.

Let’s not even talk about all the free time you have right?

🙂

Those playing the game of life at a high level rarely have a lot of “FREE” time – for it is consumed by meaningful action, connection, implementation and reflections on expansion.

Not a lot of free (idle) time,

But certainly a lot of FREEDOM in their time.

You choose what you do with your days, and you love what you do so you choose to do that fervently and consistently.

I honour all of you that have literally poured your life, expertise and talents into the highest service you have found.

You have made a sacrifice (sacred offering) of your limited time and energy in order to contribute to the world’s well-being.

A sacrifice that demands you lead with an open heart, for it is your compassion that informs your vision and your attuned emotion that has fuelled your purpose.

Yet such openness sometimes hurts,

as it’s to expect from those who REALLY care.

REALLY care as in, not hesitating for a split second to roll up their sleeves and put in their time, energy and money into their form of caring (for a cause, a group or a person).

Not merely sharing stuff on social media, complaining and nagging about “the government” not sorting out some problem..

You really care.

And your actions reflect that.

So today, I honour you!

Brother, sister, partner:

Tomorrow’s providence, peace and harmony is being built upon the shoulders of giants.

Thank you for shouldering such responsibility..

And above all,

Thank you for doing it with a smile.

Grounded Grace is what you are.

❤

Waking up leads to greater understanding and compassion.

Never to a sense of superiority and division.

If you’ve found a way of living that works for you, and you spend your time trying to force it down other’s throats, you’ve missed the point.

Whether it is religion, yoga, veganism, plant medicine or anything else.

🙏🏼
🤍

Your life is your biggest gift

To self and to others.

Live it well and watch the world change in front of you ✊🏽

MIND YOUR NONSENSE.

Seeing a lot of posts today about “Lion’s Gate” and “Manifestation Portals” I feel the need to remind you that nothing in the universe moves unless you do. 🪐

And the quicker that something moves from your vision board and into your journal..

From your journal to set dates in your calendar..

and from your calendar into daily (completed) to-do lists..

..The quicker the universe will deliver that which you’re craving 😉

Make all the vision boards, burn sage, tell yourself one-liners by the mirror, light all the candles and do all the rituals you want..

But how about -for a change- you dust off your planner and take an honest look at your goals and your calendar?

What if -in your quest to experience yourself as the creator of your reality- you started by..

you know..

actually taking proactive and effective action to CREATE IT ?

Crazy right?

🙂

Not to dismiss the energies that are certainly at play today, however (for most) it isn’t a new collection of crystals and mantras what is keeping them from manifesting the health, wealth and love they ache for.

It’s a lack of honesty with themselves.

It’s the lack of commitment (saying they want something yet putting their time, money and attention elsewhere.)

It’s the lack of facing their paralyzing fears (not in a journal or drum circle but in reality.)

It’s their tendency to betray themselves in the small things…

Daily.

So, what if your manifestation ritual was deciding to actually write down and complete your to-do lists?

I’m certain you’d see a lot more happen in a month than what some pseudo-spiritual teachings would have you accomplish in a few years.

Give it a shot and see what happens.

Thank me later.

👊🏽
💥

PS: here’s a picture of me enjoying a cacao and coconut icecream I manifested recently by making a decision, getting off my couch and investing some money.

🍦10/10 would recommend

Three years ago, I was in the Amazon jungle at our shaman’s home when in the middle of a ceremony, a wave of intensity forced me on my knees.

I was sweating and trying to pace my breath, grounding my feet and hands on the earth, trying to make sense of the waves of energy I felt rushing through my entire body..

In that moment I started seeing single words appear in rapid succession, hundreds of them per second, for a few minutes.

I felt disoriented and overwhelmed, confused for I couldn’t understand what was happening..

Once the waves of words stopped, I asked the medicine “what was that about !!?”

“It’s a book” she replied

“A book I should read?”

“A book you should write.” she said, followed by a glimpse of the title and its cover.

(which, as an artist, was not my idea of the most aesthetic book cover.. but go figure 😅)

I was shocked and a bit dismissive of the whole thing, there was enough on my plate and my plans were far distant from wanting to work on writing a book..

However, it felt like it was an important piece of homework I was given..

And every time I’ve followed mother Aya’s homework, my life has unfolded into inexplicable levels of beauty, joy and adventure.

I was apprehensive around sharing this story because -if i’m fully honest- I often cringe around people who use and abuse the words “downloads” “codes” “activations” 🤢 because most of the time they’re just referring in fancy words to their own compulsive thought and imagination 😂

I’ve literally held my face on my palms wondering if I might have become one of “those” people..

But whether it was my imagination, or a genuine channeling of something greater, it felt important to allow this creative endeavour to find expression.

That was the night that the book “Grace” was born.

“Grace: A practical, No-bullsh*t journey from Pain to Purpose.”

It is a manuscript that condenses most of what I know about human suffering, pain and the integration of it into wisdom, beauty and unavoidable grace.

I aim to guide those reading it through their inner landscape, honouring their darkness, befriending their fear and freeing themselves from their trauma..

Only to arrive at the arms of grace – recognizing that -if you’re willing- your worst nightmare becomes the seed of the most beautiful dream.

And that which once wounded you becomes the source of your greatest gifts and wisdom..

So that what you thought was life working against you, you learn to see was nothing but the palpable hands of the creator working FOR YOU.

Writing this book has been confronting me with parts of myself and my own journey where pain was left unaddressed..

It has forced me to really simplify and condense, in a practical way, the spiritual practices I have learned in my journey through Eastern mysticism (Yoga) and South American shamanism.

It’s a bridge between the spiritual and the practical.

It’s not personal-development, for my idea is not to help develop your persona even more..

It’s personal-annihilation..

Personal-Freedom.

Freedom from aversion towards suffering and pain.

Freedom from entanglement with one’s history and victimization by one’s past.

Freedom from righteousness, resentment and apathy.

An openness towards the never-ending stream of grace that’s always available in life..

To those willing to put themselves aside and empty themselves enough so that something greater may pour in.

🙏🏼

Watch your own back before you trust God

Back at the ashram, I was heading one morning to the purifying consecrated waters.

Once you arrive they give you a piece of orange cloth to change – leaving the clothes and items you came with on an open shelf.

You then go into the waters, do the cleansing practices and come back to pick your stuff up and continue with your day.

This specific morning I had just left my valuables at a separate “coat-check” area and as I walked I was questioning why I was so concerned with my phone being stolen.

“If I trust life so deeply, why do I not trust to leave things on an open shelf?”

On one hand the thought came that if it’s not my karma, why worry at all about what might happen?..

On the other hand, I had a thousand reasons to be protective of my phone (travel visas, client projects, banking resources, and so on…)

As I was about to enter, the security guy said “Guys, please be mindful of your valuables, do not leave your phone unattended…”

And the guy behind me shouted “Why should I worry? Shiva will protect my stuff!”

And the security guy giggled and said “Well, some misbehaving guys would have differed with you this morning.”

The timing of their exchange was uncanny.

Right away I remembered a tale from a muslim mystic where he said “Tie your camel first, and then put your trust in Allah.”

Or in other words:

Do not outsource responsibility and sensible action to something/someone up in the sky.

To expect for the divine to take care of “bad things” not happening would require that he/she also takes care of “good things” happening to you.

And here’s a secret truth:

The universe will NEVER move its hand to intervene before you do.

If the source of life would influence YOUR life, what makes you think its influence would not be best suited do be made manifest THROUGH YOU?

Not to say there are rare cases where things happen, but to live in a way where you relinquish sovereignty out of wishful, idealistic thinking is just stupid.

Devotion does not mean that something higher will sort your life out on your behalf..

No.

It means that you’ll be unbridled in your involvement and pouring of all that you are, into everything you are doing..

And because of that, God’s hand will be felt.

Through you, as you, most of the time.

So DO YOUR BEST…

and trust the rest.

In that order.

Always.

❤

Around 3 years ago I had an experience that drastically altered my life. I have rarely spoken about it.

Out of not understanding it at first,

and out of the likelihood to be misunderstood as of recently.

But in a way, it is time to start coming out of the metaphorical “spiritual closet”.

I won’t yet go into detail about what I experienced but one night I felt everything I thought I was burn away.

I went into a state where Iet go of my mind, body and heart until there was nothing left of me (or anyone for that matter). 

I felt who I was surrendering to the source of creation, dying in the process and then choosing to come back.

But who came back was not the same one who had left.

For the next few weeks after this incident I literally did not know who I was..

Not in the sense that I had gone mad, but that I’d look in the mirror and not know who was looking back anymore. It felt like I had literally just been born, and was seeing myself for the very first time: free from any preconceived ideas and personality.

I wasn’t the “Nico” I thought I was.

I could no longer find within myself the mental structure where the personality I had carefully curated over so many years resided.

I felt like nobody – and that was both scary and liberating.

For there was no rigid identity so I no longer felt ruled or enslaved by fear, past limitations or compulsions..


At one point I was certain I had gone mad and had fully lost my mind since I could not hear it. At least not in the same way I was used to.

It had finally settled and gone silent. (A silence that has stuck with me to this day, where my mind feels profoundly still 90% of the time)

My body felt extremely light, almost as if I could have disposed of it at will if I slowed down my mind and breath just enough..

So half amused / half concerned – I reached out to the shaman I was working with to see if he understood what had happened to me.

He nodded and smiled – and I understood he had also been there – yet he did not have words to explain it.

“Chop wood and carry water” he (kind of) said..

So wood I chopped and water I carried.


I spent a few more weeks doing physically demanding labour in nature, one foot still in that space of oneness and one slowly finding its ground back again on this reality. And through sweat, cold waterfall showers and blisters in my hands my energies started to settle.


It took a while to readjust back and dull down the degree of sensitivity I felt – so that I could go into the city without feeling overwhelmed by what I saw:

I’d look at most people on the streets and see how the light had dimmed in their eyes.

I’d feel their whole past, pain and trauma in a way that’s hard to describe.

Almost like I could grasp hat they had been through, together with what they needed to step out of so much suffering and darkness..

I saw who I used to be reflected in a thousand faces: driven by desire, compulsions and aversions.

Entangled by things that now seemed so insignificant – but that back then seemed to be all the world revolved around.

I realized that, only because I had gone so deep within my self, I could now understand and see just as deep within others.


And if I stayed present long enough..

At the deep end of every pair of eyes..


I always saw myself.

Over and over again.

A single consciousness, looking back at itself, split into a million forms.

The same ocean of oneness I had gone through in ceremony, finding expression and play in the world outside of me.

I was dying to understand what was happening, so I started investigating and asking everywhere until I ran into an old video of Sadhguru where – to my shock – he described in perfect detail the space I went into, the process and challenges you go to get there, the impact on the mind and body and so much more.



It is impossible for someone who hasn’t gone all the way to speak about it, leave aside in so much detail and with such clarity.

So I understood that this man must have been there too, but more than that, he understood the space and had a clear map of getting there..

Long story short, these past years I’ve started studying yoga as he teaches it – which is not a fitness stretching class or getting yourself into a pretzel but instead – a process of practical union: becoming one with all of life.


Stabilizing one’s mind, body and energies so that both the divine and the physical can cohabit in perfect harmony within us, or in other words, learning to base all my action from a source deeper than my physicality, without bypassing nor suppressing it.


Continuing to burn and shed what’s left of me, so that in the void that’s created, life may continuously and abundantly pour in!

The only goal? to become a bridge:

An instrument of the creator/creation.

This is the reason I went to his ashram in India for the past 10 days.

I had to meet the ‘man’ myself and look him in the eye.

Go through one of his initiation processes and see, in my own experience, the truth of who he is and what he shares..

And all I can say is that when the moment came,

And our eyes locked..


There was nobody there.

An almost inhuman emptiness abided behind his eyes,

And an ocean of love, compassion, power and wisdom unmistakably spread around him.

But again, that’s only my personal experience.

All I know is that when the teachers arrive, class has just started.

So I look forward to including you and sharing with you what I learn on this spiritual journey, integrating the eastern Yogic / Tantric wisdom with the South American Shamanic practices.

Working with inner nature in cooperation with the forces of nature.

Grounding and demystifying the divine, so that we may toss our blind faith to the garbage and replace it with direct, embodied experience.

Turning knowledge into KNOWING.

And beliefs into TRUTH.

🙏

SPIRITUAL AGONY

There’s one thing nobody tells you about the spiritual journey: Pain is guaranteed… In fact, way more pain than you would’ve endured had you ‘chosen’ to remain asleep.

Spirituality has been commercialized and monetized in countless manners.. and the truth (pain) in most cases just doesn’t sell.

We are bombarded with ideals of happy people, basking in bliss and imperturbable mental states of ecstasy, confidence, clarity and fun. Visions and projections of “gurus” (teachers) that market themselves as if they had THE insider secrets to life and the universe..

Hint: 99.999% do not.

And although I’m not denying that it is possible to abide in such peaceful, blissful and impeccable state of being, it is rarely available to most people.

Why?

Because the road there is paved with endless pain.

A true spiritual journey (not merely an online course, trendy cult or bypassing teachings) essentially puts your life on fast-forward.

Everything starts moving rapidly and wave after wave of karma is unlocked at a pace that drowns most. The “stuff” gets waken up to be dealt with in a shorter time-span (depending on the intensity of the path you’ve chosen) which means that chaos tends to emerge by the bulk before things get any better.

What you were supposed to live over the course of 10-20 years you are now experiencing in only 1-2..

So most people inherently imagine there must be something wrong with them when they see the chaos that their life continues unfolding into… especially when measured against the bold promises of a sneaky “spiritual” copywriter..

There is NOTHING wrong with you.

PAIN is a part of the journey..

and in most cases, THE journey.

(And remember that although Pain is guaranteed, suffering is always optional.)

But let me help you take the “pink-spiritual-googles” off and embrace what a spiritual journey *actually* entails.

It is far from being sunshine and rainbows, because once you open this pandora box you unleash all the things that were kept hidden there for a reason:

Old trauma, memories and patterns resurface to be fully dealt with (not merely ignored/dulled down)

Relationships, Friendships & Work situations take a drastic shift because once you’ve become conscious of the importance of your life you just cannot continue engaging in toxic romances, meaningless connections and soul-sucking jobs.

When you become present to how precious life is you are now forced to deal with all the ways in which you were wasting it..

Something about throwing pearls to the pigs, a guy named Jesus once said.

But be VERY careful about your intention to go down this path.

If you will take the first step, you better make it to the last – otherwise you’re in for a rough, tormenting journey.

A LOT of people that have the courage to open the box lack the follow through to boldly step towards and through what comes out of it, and as a consequence end up in severe depression and anxiety.

Because depression and anxiety are the natural consequences of SEEING the shifts you MUST make in your life and not making them.

They are the inevitable result of KNOWING who you truly are, and betraying that.

At least before you were blind to it and could go through the motions, numbing yourself out with distractions, vices, addictions, work, food, sex and tv shows…

But once you’ve seen past the surface, what lies behind the veil cannot be ‘unseen’.

Truth is therefore the spiritual journey’s greatest gift and curse.

For it will burn all that is false -and it will burn it ruthlessly!

Yet in today’s world, most of a person’s life is false.

The way they eat, the way they move, the place they work at, the relationships they have, the work they do, the thoughts they think.

So when seeking truth in a society built by deception, pain is unavoidable.

You will endure the pain of losing people you thought were your friends..

And jobs you thought were good enough because they paid the bills..

And the pain of noticing how you’re responsible for your every emotion and thought – so the soft comfort of blame is now out of the window.. for you have now realized that both misery and bliss are YOURS to create.

There is a subtle, ever-present pain when you become aware of every single thought and emotion that’s out of harmony. So instead of pretending they aren’t there, you are now forced to sit with them, inquire and explore how deep the rabbit hole goes…

Every.

Single.

Day.

It is painful to look around and see the delusion in which the world lives, the self-deception that most operate from and the utter ugliness life on earth has been turned into.

It is painful to look at your family and recognize the trauma and pain they’re not willing to heal (and therefore, the pain they unconsciously keep making others feel.)

So hear me out:

The spiritual journey will demand that who you are -and the world as you know it- die.

And this death is utterly painful..

Yet the alternative is NOT an option.

The alternative is wilful ignorance, fear-driven blindness and life-long torture.

The alternative is never knowing who you truly are and what you’re capable of because of fear.

So the spiritual journey will turn your life upside down before it sets it straight..

And you will most certainly go through hell before you reach heaven…

so as you go through it, remember that the goal is NOT to be happy.

It is to be FREE.

And -ironically- lasting happiness is reserved for those who’ve given up their aversion to pain.

For once you welcome pain with open arms and a smile,

That’s the end of suffering.

And the final reward of having pushed through the rough edges of your spiritual path.

❤

One of our biggest problems is that we’ve become obsessed with God.

In the quest towards the divine we’ve forgotten the human.

The matter.

The dense.

We live wanting to get out of here and therefore postponing taking care of the “here”.

Often worshipping imaginary friends and destroy a tangible nature, that very practically is the one gifting us life.

Don’t believe me?

Go without food or water for a week and feel into it yourself.

You’ve become obsessed with the third eye, the crown chakra, the higher realms, the places of heaven…

And along the way you have forgotten about the lower ones:

You’ve forgotten to take care of your relationship with sex and with your romantic partners in a healthy way.

You’ve forgotten to trust your body and instincts when it comes to situations and people that aren’t good for you.

You’ve abandoned your agency over your life and outsourced your personal power, very often getting to a place where you’re barely making meets end.

What if this was heaven?

And you die to realize that you missed your chance, because you thought something else was to come?

This is the place where you get to create, to experience, to feel, enjoy, laugh and cry!

This is the place where you can make anything out of yourself – if you commit to it.

But most people won’t.

Because they think there’s something better somewhere.

They’ve been following and staring at “the light” for so long that they’ve gone blind.

In the quest to a better life, they’ve abandoned the one they were gifted.

In a quest to understand ourselves, we have forgotten that Matter, matters.

The GROSS futility of Spiritual Bypass

Let me tell you a story about one of the most nauseating things I have ever experienced (and that’s a lot to say keeping in mind that at our medicine centre in Colombia we deal with people vomiting and shitting themselves all the time)

Four years ago I was attending a musical performance in Costa Rica. It was a musician whose work I had enjoyed for a while and she was hosting what seemed to be at the intersection of a concert and a large scale ecstatic dance class.

“Ecstatic Dance” for those who don’t know is a sort of movement therapy in which people are encouraged to move their bodies and free themselves of inhibition and stagnant energies by just letting loose.

There’s no right or wrong way to do it as long as you’re letting it flow and getting sweaty.

And sweaty they got – in an already hot and humid climate – I found myself surrounded by waves of sweat drenched attendees.

No big deal I thought.. Not my jam but no judgement either.

So I was standing right on the edge where I could still enjoy the music and not drown in steams of body scents and fluids.

when suddenly, I felt a gnarly stench..

A smell so awful I almost threw up!

I looked all around me wondering if someone had opened some tupperware full of food left rotting in the Costa Rican heat or something along those lines..

And I found its source..

A “spiritual” looking tall, blonde, sweaty guy with mala beads around his neck, bracelets and a ‘sacred geometry’ patterned vest.

The closer he walked towards me the stronger the smell became..

I was in shock wondering how on earth he hadn’t noticed.

He stood right next to me, I covered my face with my scarf to breathe and saw him go through his backpack.

YES! he must be looking for deodorant (I thought)

And in a way he was…

He pulled out a Palo Santo and Sage stick and proceeded to light them up and smudge his armpits with it..

😵

And I laughed at how ridiculous the whole situation was!

He saged his armpits as if the smell was due to some bad vibes or evil spirits..

Not realizing that maybe a lack of hygiene, inconsistent showering and poor food choices were probably at the root of the issue. (and what needed urgent attention)

So.. why am I sharing this?

That scene to me sums up the unhealthy approach that a vast amount of people have to spirituality:

A way of avoidance while deluding themselves into thinking they’re doing something about it.

Like rearranging furniture in a sinking ship.

Useful? perhaps.. under different circumstances.

Like painting the walls of a burning house. It looks like change and improvement but it’s wasted, unconscious effort.

I once met a girl that would smudge herself and her home every time she felt “bad vibes”, yet she wouldn’t consider that perhaps it was not the home at the source.. and instead a relationship with drugs, alcohol and sex that were spiralling out of control.

And like these there’s many people..

Who sit chanting mantras or visualizing things that they are NOT putting actual, wheel-meets-the-ground work on.

Spinning their spiritual wheels in futile attempts at moving forward in their growth.

Nothing wrong with that, just not very useful.

So I’m here to call it out!

To reclaim spirituality as a powerful, bold, PRACTICAL and effective way of being human.

Not as tools and deluded ways in which our humanity is dismissed.

I have friends that tell me they don’t hang out with “spiritual people” because they’re in so much denial about life that they can’t stand it.

Oddly enough, most of these friends are among the few I actually consider to be very spiritual (in the deep, profound sense of the word)

Spirituality has been getting a bad rep and it’s about time we clear it out (and not with sage under our armpits )

It’s about time we realize that spirituality comes at the inclusion and integration of who we are – and last time I checked, we are human.

We occupy a space and time on this earth and as such, we have a duty (with it and with others)

Spirituality is as much the work we do within our own hearts as the one we do with our hands.

It is the facing of fear, looking at those places we are afraid to step into and doing what needs to be done.

Learning to embrace resistance, tension, discomfort and disagreement without closing down our heart.

Spirituality is learning to honour ALL of ourselves and ALL of life, and at the same time, taking no BS from any of it.

It is to take a bold stand with a kind smile.

So here’s an invitation for those who, in some way or another, may have turned their ‘spiritual practices’ into the way they bypass their life.

You can do all the affirmations you want, but if you shy away from speaking your truth, honestly, confidently and clearly in your relationships.

You’re doomed.

You can do all the yoga, stretching, dancing, cleansing that you want, but if you rarely ever complete your to-do lists, honour your word and learn to keep your commitments..

The stress of your unexplored potential will anyways make you sick.

You can take all the plants and substances, sit in ceremonies, drink cacao, do the breathworks and hike around as much as you want.. but if your breakthroughs and insights do not become new, different, inspired and implemented action..

You’re but drowning in spiritual entertainment.

You can sage your armpits all that you want but if you don’t shower..

You get the point.

So, if you consider spirituality a meaningful part of your life, ensure that you walk at least twice what you talk.

And that in your quest towards the light, you do not become blind..

And that looking at the heavens you do not forget to plant your feet firmly on the earth.

Shall we?

🖐

PS: Feel free to share this if you’d like to support me in spirituality being reclaimed as a way to navigate life grounded, lovingly and consciously (instead of it being connected to hippies, struggling, unreliable people and bypassing hidden in woo-woo nonsense)

Being “spiritual” is one of the ego’s ultimate delusions.

So if you think you are spiritual, congratulations on your self-anointed nonsense!

When I look around I see the flags of spirituality being waved and glorified in ugly, unconscious ways.

I have witnessed the rise and decay of yoga -as a practice that went from being a science of spiritual union- degrading into a commodified stretching class. Over saturated markets of meagerly prepared teachers coming and going with the seasons.

I look around and see very flexible people, rarely any yogis.

I’ve long seen the teachings of tantra being twisted into rationalized excuses for promiscuity in the name of virtue. Openness and freedom being the slogans shouted loudly by those unwilling to see their own enslavement and closure around their own sexual impulses.

I have endured the cacao, mushrooms, music and movement medicines be stripped away of all that was medicinal and turned into mere forms of refined entertainment.

Flocks of people exchanging night clubs and bottle service for the ecstatic dance floors and psychedelic doses.

Once they had a dealer, now everyone and their cousin is a shaman (or facilitator of sorts)

Today my heart weights heavy as I see the sacred being mishandled, labelled and then marketed as spiritual.

My heart hurts when I see so many people around me become self-proclaimed warriors, goddesses, mystics, witches, ascended this and sacred that..

It hurts because in the search for the light we’ve become blind.

Wanting to grow high and strong, to bear sweet fruits and vibrant flowers without deepening our roots and dealing with our shit first!

I have seen the ideas of spirituality become the sticks used to draw a deeper line of division, the very same division we intended to integrate, heal and nurture into love at the beginning of our journeys.

And my heart aches because this post is one more expression of that: Separation, judgement, division, frustration and grief all in one.

Yet who am I to judge another when the path is so big it’d be impossible to fall off it?

Today I’m reminded that I’ve still got a lot of work to do, for I do not know how to accept and love toe world fully yet..

but I would like to.

♥️

It is the moments of utmost despair that shape the strongest of wills.

The moments of deepest pain that break your heart open.

It is the pressure of the mountains that shape the coal into diamonds..

Yet time and patience are required, for the fires of life will mold you and shape you but never before they burn you and melt you into nothingness.

The hand of the creator will make of you a polished gem, yet it must first chisel and break away everything that is excess weight.

Everything that is no longer necessary must go..

And this process is painful, for you are unaware of the masterpiece that life is making out of you.

You cannot see it in the moment.

All you feel are the picks and scratches of a constant hammering, the sometimes not so subtle and forceful removal of layer upon layer..

And the fear and agony of ending up naked, ending up with nothing, being nothing, losing yourself, not knowing who you are or what you want along the process…

Realizing that everything you once chased and had was but a mere illusion.

Games that kept you worried and busy so you wouldn’t have to pay attention to the emptiness of it all.

And now pain brings you back into the moment, into what is real, what hurts, what was and no longer is, endings, transitions, shifts and the inevitable concern and question about what will be…

And you find that the fire that you thought was out to burn you was actually a guiding light and warm embrace guiding you through and out of the darkness you find yourself in.

You realize that fear soon turns into fuel.

Confusion and chaos start becoming clarity and order.

And the aching desire for something different.

For a different life, a different experience, a different outcome..

And above all, BEING a different person.

And you start to sip in and receive the blessings of a situation you once cursed.

And you notice the perfection of it all.

With time, you look back and realize that it HAD to happen – and that although you wouldn’t wish the same on anybody, you also wouldn’t change it..

For who you’ve become is far more precious and worth a thousand times more than the price you paid to get there.

And the pain that in that moment felt like life’s punishments was nothing other than Grace being poured on you.

And in that moment, you smile.

For you know you’ve healed. You notice that resentment shifts into gratitude, wounds into wisdom and fear into love.

Seeing a lot of posts today about “Lion’s Gate” and “Manifestation Portals” I feel the need to remind you that nothing in the universe moves unless you do.

And the quicker that something moves from your vision board and into your journal..

From journal to set dates in the calenda..

and from your calendar into daily (completed) to-do lists..

..The quicker the universe will deliver that which you’re craving 😉

Burn sage, chant “Lakshmi”, light all the candles and do all the rituals you want..

But how about -for a change- you dust off your planner and take an honest look at your goals and your calendar?

What if -in your quest to experience yourself as the creator of your reality- you started by.. you know.. actually taking proactive and effective action to create it?

Crazy right?

🙂

Not to dismiss the energies that are certainly at play today, however (for most) it isn’t a new collection of crystals and mantras what is keeping them from manifesting that which they want in life..

It’s a lack of honesty with themselves.

It’s the lack of commitment (saying they want something yet putting their time, money and attention elsewhere.)

It’s the lack of facing their paralyzing fears (not in a journal or drum circle but in reality.)

It’s their tendency to betray themselves in the small things…

So, what if your manifestation ritual was deciding to actually write and complete your to-do lists?

I’m certain you’d see a lot more happen in a month than what some pseudo-spiritual teachers would have you accomplish in a few years.

Give it a shot and see what happens.

🙏🏼

Kindly,

Nico

A Message to the women…

Women

An ongoing obsession with the way you look (your clothes, your make up, your weight).

The work that you do and how you are perceived in social media (carefully polishing every post and picture) is often a distraction from paying attention to a much deeper element within you.

Yes, you may have been conditioned by society to have to look a certain way, to derive your worth based on arbitrary definitions of beauty and maybe even to aim to “be a good girl” or “wife material” so you can get a good partner and so on…

I get it. The conditioning, however, runs a lot deeper than that:

It programmed you to internalize that “Only if I look and behave in a specific way and meet certain externally assigned standards, I’m worthy of receiving love“.

And it set you off on a misleading path towards chasing (outside of you) the ONE THING that can only be found from within: Love (And love encompasses Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation)

In simpler words:

Despite having an overflowing oasis within you, you were told that the only way to quench your thirst would be to change yourself and put on a show in the hopes that someone else (perhaps a man?) would come and share a bit of his water.

Do you see the issue here? I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that. And I’m not saying that taking care of your body, your health, how you look and your image are bad things. Not at all!

But I invite you to evaluate where the motivation is coming from… Is it an expression of your feminine energy? (and therefore it feels freeing and light). Or is it an oppression of your conditioning? (and you feel like you have to do it otherwise you’ll be looked down at, ridiculed and dismissed or valued less as a woman) a want-to vs a have-to.

My experience over the years has been that most women fall in the second category. Again, no judgement, I probably would be in that second group too – had I been raised as a woman and exposed to the same narratives and societal pressures.

However, l invite you to explore how much of your power, agency and self-love have you given away?

How much of how you feel is derived from external sources of approval, validation and appreciation? And if it is a conscious, sacred relationship that you want to attract, obsessing about your nails, lips and hair will do as much for you as a person redecorating a burning house:

It looks good and it feels good, but it is not what is really needed.

So… what is REALLY needed? Well, I’ll speak for myself and the hundreds of men I’ve had the fortune of working with. A beautiful figure and a nice dress will catch our attention, but it is the essence of who you are (and your expression of your feminine energy) what captivates the heart of a truly masculine man.

I tried dating supermodels, porn stars and celebrities for years… And besides the initial hormonal triggers and dopamine rush, none of these women fully inspired me to want to commit and devote myself to something serious.

They were hot and attractive, but they were disconnected from their beauty. (and so was I from my ability to witness it, therefore we were a perfect match for each other)

So after some dates I moved on… And over the years it was only those women who were not playing that game, the ones that fully captivated my heart.

It was the ones whose sense of validation, joy and radiance was not derived from how much makeup they had on or how others perceived them… It was those women who were a full expression of who they were, whose femininity overflowed not as a tool to please, but as an inevitable consequence of their very own nature.

The women who I couldn’t grab my head around about why I liked them so much.

Those women that had me wanting to be a better man, thinking about commitment in an inspiring way, wondering about kids and marriage. (after having a phase where I thought only open agreements would work for me)

And the men I’ve worked with would concur.

A woman connected to her own power and femininity has the ability to inspire the men around her to show up in better ways (without her even trying).

So what is it about these women? Well, they learned to fill their own cups first. They learned to love themselves (which is essential for them to be able to love men) They stopped treating their body as a tool to control and manipulate outcomes.

They stopped abusing their body out of their insecurities, and started seeing it as a sacred place – and treating it as such. No longer something to be used (just because society taught it that way) But something to be revered, loved, accepted and celebrated.

Which in turn made it impossible for us men not to do the same. The ugly truth is that if you objectify yourself, if you use your mind, heart and body as the means to an end (feel loved) do not be surprised if the partners you attract match that (i.e. men who are using you as a means to an end, whether that’s sex, validation or company).

The moment you reclaim your power as a woman and stop outsourcing your ability to feel loved is the moment that whether you brushed your hair or not, did your nails or not, wore heels or not – the fragrance of your very essence will be felt everywhere you go.

This is the key difference between girls who get constantly disappointed in relationships and women who naturally attract and connect with high-value men.

The difference between hotness and radiance (beauty!):

Hotness is temporary, assigned externally and hormone dependant.
Beauty is transcendental, timeless and of the soul.

So if a soul companion is what you’re seeking, Ask yourself whether you’re spending as much time tending to your inner oasis and cultivating beauty, as you are tending to your body and trying to look “hot“.

And above all, remember that the most beautiful trait you can cultivate is that of the peace of mind, joy and deep love…

The kind of deep love you feel for yourself the moment you give up playing someone else’s game and start tending to what is truly important and essential for you.

It is in that moment that you will realize that your cup is already full, that you don’t need someone else’s approval, attention or even companionship to feel good…

And to realize that you are already perfect and worthy of love as you are. And there’s nothing more attractive than that!

I love you.