Skip to main content

2023 © Nico Canon. All Rights Reserved. Terms and conditions | Privacy policy

Nothing bears nastier fruits than seeds planted out of confusion.

Look at your greatest heartbreaks, financial losses, relational frustrations and mental/emotional restlessness.

It’s ALL rooted in a poor choice you made (or a choice you have yet to make)

Most people waste their life, feeling stuck, confused, seeing how the days go by without much changing:.

Cycles of mediocrity, settling down, contempt and later regret are the greatest plague.

But it doesn’t have to be like that,
in fact, life does not work like that.

The laws of nature are clear and consistent.
The rules of life do not waiver.
The stream of the river always points towards the ocean.

Everything in nature knows its place and purpose, it’s just humans who’ve made a mess out of themselves through overthinking.

Paralysis by over analysis they call it!

Imagine, however, waking up and being with the lover you chose 100% (and feel fully committed to)..

Running the business and serving the world in a way that feels deeply right to your heart..
Noticing you know the next best steps you need to take to amp up the volume of prosperity, love and peace that’s present in your life.

Feeling clarity even when there’s chaos all around you 🔥

Especially when there is.

This need not be an ideal..
It’s actually your factory settings!

And fortunately, for thousands of years indigenous shamans and mystic yogis discovered tools and practices to press the reset button so that clarity and confidence may naturally arise.

Flow is an universal law that when broken creates ripples of pain, chaos and illness

To hesitate, procrastinate, second-guess and resist change is to go against the current of life.

To know you are here for a lot more than what you are currently doing and not trusting your gut is to betray your heart.

To feel that a more intimate, passionate and spiritually aligned love story is possible yet to settle one more year for uninspiring, mediocre love is to burry your dreams while still alive.

To know deep in your bones that more vitality, energy and clarity of mind are possible..

That peace and confidence are possible..

That health and exuberance are possible..

Yet to settle for lethargy, caffeine-dependency, medications, drugs and a half-broken system is a sin.

Meaning, it goes against the natural flow of life.

It is to miss the mark.

Most people when feeling stuck resort to their mind to try and sort themselves out..

Forgetting that it’s often their mind the one that got them there to begin with.

Rationalizing too much, hesitating at every turn, making “evidence-based” decisions yet second-guessing every decision they make.

Going through lists of pros & cons, waves of overthinking and inevitable anxiety.

There isn’t a single choice that comes from the mind that is bound to last unless your energies, body and heart are aligned with it.

Sure! you could change your mind in a heartbeat..

And that’s as much as a gift as it is a curse:
Today you want something and feel a fiery resolve to follow that path.

Tomorrow something happens and you’re back to square one, reconsidering what you previously thought you wanted.

Years go to waste in these cycles of intention, action, hesitation and reconsideration.

Yet no smart person, who highly values their time and life, ever allows for cycles of mediocrity to perpetuate over and over and over..

For life’s too brief and you’ll be damned if you waste it playing small!

So what to do?

Fortunately the question of “What do I want?” is not new to the human condition..

And over centuries, different cultures came up with their own approach to creating clarity of direction.

In South American shamanism they work in unison with the natural world to leverage certain herbs, flowers and medicinal plants to cleanse and harmonize a person’s energies (and from there, their mind and body follow)

In the Hindu traditions, they understood how to work with the 5 elements within the body in order to cleanse them, altering in this way the patterns of thought and feeling so that the source of who we are could be touched, and from there, effortless clarity sprouted.

The North American indigenous tribes had their “Vision Quest”, which was a rite of passage through which a person would mature, having received a vision from “The Great Spirit” before an important transition in their life.

And like these there are plenty of paths towards the same destination.

However, you don’t have to walk alone.

I could not have done it without her, at least not soon enough to not regret it.

Our greater challenge is rarely to part with the ugly, unconscious tendencies we have..

It is to let go of the ones we’ve grown to love.

It is to have the humility to acknowledge that there’s A LOT that we don’t know that we don’t know.

A lot of unconscious patterns that rig our romantic, financial and spiritual lives.

A lot of stuff we have never dealt with because we found ways to be entertained, distracted, busy, “productive” and efficient..

Work projects, travels and sex being often at the top of the list..

They make you feel like you’re killing it! Like you’ve made it..

But no matter how great the conquest, there’s a subtle void within..

And a whisper that calls us forth.

Had it not been for plant medicine I would’ve most likely kept running in circles of achievement, addiction, connection and disappointment.

Until I became too old or weary about the meaninglessness of it all..

However; I’m glad I was nudged awake before wasting all that time
pretending to be who I was really not.

Playing games my heart was never really into.

The medicine is there for those who are brave and have the courage to cut the cycles short, move beyond stagnation and transform.

Yet as a good friend says “Every great life has had in it a great renunciation..”

Are you ready to renounce?
👊🏽🔥

I used to hide my fear of trusting and letting go of control under the façade of perfectionism.

Most of my entrepreneurial journey has been an individual one, with brief bursts of external help here and there, but I’ve mainly been a one-man army.

Taking care of all things website development, marketing, video editing, content strategizing, creation and deployment, customer service, accounting, finance management, logistics coordinator, visual media artist, public relations and branding..

And I would go through periods of intense productivity and eventual burnout.. 😅

Then I’d half heartedly hire help that wasn’t qualified, so that my belief of “If I don’t do it myself, it won’t get done well.” Would turn out a reality..

Like in a relationship, when we don’t respect and love ourselves we tend to draw in someone who won’t respect and love us, I would attract people that wouldn’t do a good job, would be irresponsible and that would reinforce my beliefs around working with others..

That was until I started organizing retreats.. suddenly I had to work with another 20 people to ensure that things would go smoothly – from ensuring a truck brings enough wood to the friends that would spend a week chopping it, to the musicians, chef, facilitators, transportation and cleanup crew..

Suddenly I had no choice but to open up and trust..

It was one night during ceremony that in the midst of difficult emotions I looked up and saw the ceiling of the temple (which is a reciprocal structure) where if only one of the supporting beams was missing, the whole thing would come down.. (swipe to see a picture of it).

In that moment I understood our shaman’s design for it: a reminder that we CANNOT do it all alone.

A reminder that alone, the weight will crush us..
But together, it is possible.

That nothing GREAT in the world was ever created by a single person unwilling to involve others..

And that my journey forward was one of leadership, inspiring others, delegating and then trusting.

So I started already by hiring a personal assistant and a travel concierge.
And what a difference it’s made!

I now see that the right people show up only when you’re willing to let them in.

There are 5 states of the mind

– 𝐈𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐭
They are not a problem. Simple minded people often have no trouble. They eat and sleep well and aren’t riddled by too much thought.. Life is basic but enjoyable.


– 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞
90% of the population has an active mind which often means it is scattered. Overthinking, anxiety, confusion and a lot of activity but often without much stillness.


– 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
9% of the world, through self-development and spiritual work, develop enough energy and commitment to pour their minds into a few things.
It goes from being all over the place to being one day this way, the next another. Highly polarized.


– 𝐎𝐧𝐞-𝐏𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝
Very few people energize their mind up to this level where focus (and life itself) becomes an effortless, meditative process. There’s no inner tug of war or constant division and jolting of the mind.


– 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬
A rare happening, and often one of enlightenment, when a mind reaches its peak. It let’s go of the “one-pointed focus” to become all-inclusive and all-encompassing. It’s nothing and everything at the same time. It becomes the present moment itself and as such, a source of infinite wisdom, love and beauty.

If your mind gets organized, your emotions will match your thoughts.


If your emotions get organized, your energies will match your emotions.


If your energies get organized, your very body will get organized.

With these four in alignment you become extremely empowered in creating and manifesting that which you want.

Clarity is bringing our mind from Scattered into One-pointedness and eventual Consciousness.

In the yogic tradition this process is achieved by energizing one’s system.

How far and fast you go depends on how much fuel you have and its quality

How much clarity and power depends on how much energy is present in your system.

So how to energize our mind and body to grow past confusion/scattered/inert thinking?

There’s only TWO methods:


-Cleansing
Dealing with the areas where it leaks


-Boosting
Increasing the amount & quality of it

Did you know that the Chinese character for music is the same one for happiness?

And did you know that the one for medicine is the same one for music but with the “plants” character on top?

🤯

For me, music has been a tool of sharpening my discipline, my patience and my priorities..

A medium into which I channel and transmute the excess energy running through my system.

A way of grounding myself in the present moment and reconnecting to a sense of play and freedom.

Music has healed me, given me strength and brought me closer to myself than any prayer or yogic pose..

So it’s become one of my go-to practices of spiritual growth, for when I sing I can clearly see where my heart is at.

The guitar and the voice don’t lie – but neither they judge..
They show you where you’re at, what you need and gently guide you there.

And the Spanish saying goes:
“Quien canta, su mal espanta.”
(He who sings, his evil scares away)

Gratitude for @azulejero@piedemontemusic and @josue_velasquez_giraldo_ for being sources of inspiration and to @herediamusic for being an impeccable teacher.

🙏🏼

So.. what makes a person easy to be loved?

♥️ Profound appreciation paired with low expectations (yet high standards)
♥️ Unshakeable Honesty
♥️ Bigger desire to understand than to be understood
♥️ Stronger commitment to the truth than to being right
♥️ Open & Flexible mind, able to acknowledge errors and correct promptly
♥️ Self-sourced validation, joy and excitement for life
♥️ Relentless effort on Self-care & Inner growth
♥️ Deeper devotion to one’s own spiritual journey than to any relationship
♥️ Proactive, non-violent & truthful communication
♥️ Impeccable sense of personal responsibility

And here’s the caveat:
In life (and in love) you must go first.

You cannot demand from others something that you yourself aren’t willing to offer.

You also cannot control the way others are showing up, but you can refine the way you do – and through your example become a beacon of inspiration and a guiding light.

To become so easy to be loved makes you walk and bloom with a very beautiful fragrance.. 🌷

A scent and energy that draws in the right (and matching) kinds of atmospheres, people and relationships into your life.

Like the bees can’t help to be drawn to the sweetest nectar of flowers, and produce with it the sweetest honey..

People can’t help themselves from relating, lovingly, to those whose fragrance has reached a point of maturity.

Grace, prosperity, passion and adventure ensue.
♥️

One of the reasons @tumi.anastasiya inspired me to want to marry her, even though I used to swear against marriage, is this:

– She was a big YES to my leadership.

She celebrated it with joy.

Throughout the years I had met incredible women who -in spite of “having it together”- were not a good match.

My invitations would sometimes be met with hesitation, resistance and overthinking.

Nothing wrong with that; for some people thrive in connecting from a very safe, carefully managed and controlled place..

But I’m not made like this.

I’m like fire, and I see what’s possible with people and call it out right away; often.

In work, friendships and love.

In relationships this has meant a level of intensity beyond what most women are used to, and that’s okay.

With Anastasiya it started effortlessly..

with random adventures in Bali, visiting her in Russia, and inviting her to come for a month to Colombia where we attended our very first plant medicine retreat.

Our first few dates were each in different countries.

Little did we know we’d end up spending covid together and moving into an Ayahuasca community, living in the sacred forests and supporting the construction of their temple.

We’ve often traveled 6+ months of the year; explored new places and gone on deep dives when it comes to our spiritual journey.

From visiting chiefs of indigenous reserves, to attending special consecration ceremonies with Yogi mystics, and exploring play and community in-between.

With her, adventure has felt effortless.

She trusts me and celebrates my leadership.

And when needed, lovingly reminds me when I fall asleep at the wheel.

I married her because there’s symmetry in the depth of devotion we have for each other and the overall vision we have for life.

(Other than this being the last round for me and her saying she’d want one more life together 😂😅)

In love, like in engineering, if there’s no symmetry there’s bound to be friction.

So find someone who’s a big yes to who you are, instead of bitterly settling for someone who merely sees you as a ‘maybe’.

One will fuel the fire that you are,
the other will turn in down.

Choose well.
🙏🏼

You will never think your way out of being stuck, for it is your mind that got you there to begin with..

Feeling stagnant, confused or overwhelmed by lack of clarity is a symptom that you’re in your head.

Indecisiveness is the limbo where all of human potential (and peace of mind) goes to waste.

Not knowing whether to commit fully to that business venture that calls your heart, whether to stay or leave a relationship that may be past its due date, or simply unsure about how to take the next step in your journey of healing..

Those are all nasty places to be in.

I say nasty because being confused means that you don’t move forward and change things with courage, but neither do you learn to love and embrace where you’re at..

Sitting on the fence it’s only bound to hurt your ass..

With that said, most people try to think their way out of their dilemmas.. as if fire could ever put out fire 🤦🏻‍♂️

A deeper, clearer intelligence must be touched if we want to move forward with clarity and confidence.

Ancient yogis and indigenous shamans knew this, that’s why their advice was never in the form of lectures but instead, they’d bathe you with a specific mix of plants..

Have you eat some other..

Make you breathe in another way..

And even rearrange your home in a particular manner..

And you would see that the confusion -once removed from your field- would inevitably be removed out of your mind.

They knew how to work with the body, mind, energies and environment to kick-start certain processes within.. so that clarity would sprout.

Are you ready?

Let’s do this!

Here’s a Selfie🤳

❌No fancy background.
❌No artificial/posed moments.
❌No subtle “wealth/virtue signalling”
❌No “on brand” context.
❌No filters.

Just a reminder of a morning I woke up feeling joyful and handsome 🙂 (AND my grandma agreed.)

So that’s it!

Celebrating life as it is, past filters, expectations, demands and inner/outer pressures.

And an invitation (and permission slip) for you to feel free to celebrate YOU being you.

Free from comparisons and judgements.

Fully unique and perfect as the unfolding life that you are.

🙏🏼

I used to have this distorted idea of love.

I thought it was a rare happening that you experienced with very few, select romantic partners throughout your life.

I also thought it was something the other had to earn.

The words “I love you” were deeply feared, for they established vulnerability.

They meant I had dropped my guard enough to allow the other inside my heart..

So I kept them hidden and locked in a box, and would never speak them in a relationship unless the other had done so first.

An unconscious game of trying to keep the emotional upper-hand and always trying to give just a little less than the other, to keep my heart safe.

I felt Love was a burden, enslaving, consuming and pain inducing.

Yet in recent years I discovered that the only pain and burden lied in trying to keep it locked in.

For love is a state of being that does not need anything or anyone for it to arise within us.

I saw that love is a way of being; and being in love means that’s where you reside.

So to say “I love you” had everything to do with me, and often little to do with the other.

So I chose to be in love and to voice it often..

To men, women, elder, children, family, lovers and friends alike.

“I love you” has become a part of my daily vocabulary, even in the face of awkward, surprised, love-constipated friends and strangers..

I giggle when I see them pull back just a little, shorten their breath and tense up- for they still think that love comes with expectations and a collection date..

And as I utter these words more and more, from my heart, I find them inevitably coming back from all places.

This is the year where I’ve heard “I love you” the most times, from both men and women.

People I meet tell me that.
People I’ve known tell me that.
Even nature, as I walk, tells me that.

Who would’ve thought?

That to be in love would be such a contagious choice..

And to live in love and with an open heart, such a rewarding adventure.

So..
I love you!

I really do.

I hope you find within yourself the courage to love -and verbally express it- too!

♥️

This reflection destroyed the way I was starting to see/use social media..

Here’s why:

This is Sarnath 🛕 Where Gautama, the Buddha gave his first sermon to 5 people..

Imagine that..

An enlightened being and only 5 people gathered to listen.

What a humbling reminder that it’s not the size of the crowd but the depth and piercing truth of one’s message which matters..

Most of us feel somewhat inadequate if only 5 people were to like one of our posts..

Or if we only had 5 followers?

Crazy isn’t it? how entitled we’ve become to volumes of external attention and the desire for large scale validation.

Being in this sacred site I was reminded of the importance to tend to my people.

To serve you, and whoever is within arm’s reach, for this is a privilege..

To not distract or delude myself with an eager desire for touching the masses, scaling my business and expanding my message..

If it’s to happen, it will be the way Buddha did it..

Giving it his all, regardless of numbers.

Fully involved with life and service.

This is my commitment:
To honour the privilege and gift of your attention by sharing all I have, all I know and ultimately ALL I AM.

🤍🙏🏼🤍

After 3 months away I’m finally coming back “home” (Toronto)🏡

I say “home” because the word itself comes from the latin ‘focus’ (fogo/fuego) which means fire 🔥.

Fire is the root of the concept of home because it was the elements around which cooking and gathering happened in the community.

So home is a place where the fire is.

A place where there’s warmth, light, connection, safety and nourishment (for the body and soul)

And it’s a strange thing..

Because in my 20’s I traveled the world chasing an elusive sense of belonging, meaning and peace.. never quite settling or settled in any place.

So the last years became a journey inwards, removing the layers that were dimming my own fire.

And now, even though my travel schedule may have become more hectic than before, there’s no chasing.

For I have come home to myself.
Warm by my own fire,
Alive, at ease, peace and bliss.

A fire I am now able to share wherever I go.
🙏🏼

With that said, Toronto is the place where I keep my ‘things’.

It’s where my temple is, where I ground and work, expand, implement, reflect and share.

It is a well of energy, ideas and effortless execution.

The space I live in has been consecrated through a variety of south american shamanic practises, herbs and tools, as well as ancestral yogic processes.

The energy is palpable to those that are open.

Quite hard to miss actually.

Yet I realize I’ve been rather protective of it so far..

Yet the fire isn’t a little fragile flame anymore.

So it is time to let go of the walls.

I feel it’s time to open the door and start inviting people to come into it.
To share a cup of tea, a meal or a word.

To work, meditate, do yoga or chat about life.

To create an inclusive atmosphere where others may benefit from their batteries being recharged, in the same way I do every time I come back home.

I now feel inspired to nurture community and connection.

To share and cocreate with those who feel aligned with supporting the evolution / transformation of Toronto from a surface-level city to an abode of depth.

Who’s with me? 🍁💥🙋🏻‍♂️

The word “Family” comes from the latin ‘famulus’ which means both servant / slave

And the only difference between a servant and a slave is choice

A servant is a chosen, honourable role of caring for something/someone of importance

A slave is -in simplified terms- the imposition of servitude: forcing someone to care for something/someone

One is fuelled by devotion, the other by oppression

In most family environments control and obligation are the foundations

Partners have a tendency towards controlling their ‘loved’ one

The husband ,unable to draw clear boundaries and make conscious, assertive choices, ends up serving his wife out of habit and fear of upsetting her. Rarely out of love and devotion

The wife, scared of being on her own/being her own person, ends up serving his husband and children out of attachment and fear of abandonment. Rarely out of sacred surrender and love

The dysfunction inside a family starts the moment that service is expected (and forcefully demanded) instead of inspired & celebrated

The moment you become entitled to your lover’s attention, time and energy – just because they’re your lover – you are staining the beauty of their service to you

You’re making a slave out of them, leaving them without choice but to please you. (even if it displeases them)

And unless they’re into that sort of master/slave roleplay, it won’t go well 😂

Their “love” will be blurred by resentment and their “good behaviour” will be nothing short of coward obedience

Fragrant flowers have no need to force bees to help them pollinate and turn their nectar into the sweetest honey..

If you tend to your mental, emotional and energetic structure in a certain way, the very fragrance of your essence will make it close to impossible to those around you to not want to bask in that sweetness

And while there are many methods and practices to cultivate yourself to such a place, here’s the foundational ‘secret’:

For others to fall deeply in love with you, you must fall deeply in love with them first

You cannot expect for someone to give you their best, when you’re handing out breadcrumbs.

If you want to receive with open arms you must first uncross them
🔥

I used to think that I was too much.. 😰

That playing small was an act of compassion towards those whose ideas of me would be confronted if I dared to be true..

If I dared to be Great.

I used to pretend to not have money, to keep a low profile and act as if I just had “enough” so that people around me -who had mistaken poverty and lack for virtue- would not feel out of place..

and at times, I also bought into their illusion of guilt and shame over my ability to create wealth..

What a crazy idea!.. to believe that life is a zero sum game.

For you to take space nobody else has to be pushed into a corner. The world is far too big and abundant for all of us to fit.

I used to dim my light so that the darkness in others would not feel confronted by the contrast itself..

I used to think that humility meant to downplay who I was and pretend to be just like any other guy..

Not knowing that to ignore the gifts and blessings that Life had given me was itself the greatest act of arrogance.

So today, I’d rather bow in humility towards the source of creation and be seen as arrogant among men than to live a life of constipated love, abundance and service.

Too much?

“Too much” is merely a judgement casted by those who don’t feel they are enough..

Those who would much rather convince you that you need to suffocate your own life than remove their hands off their own neck.

And whether it is Love, Wealth or Health..

The world has never EVER benefited from anyone keeping their riches to themselves.

So I want to publicly say that I am sorry..
For there’s SO MUCH life has given me..
and so little I have truly shared.

Until now.

I now see that playing & being small is but an insult to the grandiosity of the creation & creator that flows through us.

I will no longer hold back what I’m here to share..

Nor the passion, prosperity and peace I experience when I share it fully.

This is my promise.

This is my service.

The time is now.

Stay tuned 🙏🏽🌱☀️

Today I sang to the skies, out of tune -perhaps- but full of love. ☀️

Playing, dancing, moving.
A little clumsy at times
But unwavering at heart.

Basking in the bliss produced
Not by notes well sang
Nor chords well struck
But by the love behind them.

A Love I arrived to
By learning to embrace
the mistakes I make
With a smile on my face.

Forgiving
myself for erring
For it’s human.
And others on their errors,
Since they too are.

Today I sang out of a balcony
As the birds danced
and played in the sky..
The golden sunset rays
seeping through the city line.

Harmony and chaos collided in one song
Wrapped and packaged
As a present.
THE present.

A reminder that bliss is what comes
When apprehension towards pain
Or addiction to chase joy
fade.

Knowing that when playing
an eternal game,
You can always start over.

But why not now?
Why not here?

Today I sang to the skies, out of tune and full of life.
For I got out of my own way, once again,
And remembered who,
And what
I truly am.

♥️

In a world that is always telling you you must be doing something…

…(and it’s never quite enough) what needs to be addressed is the rejection of stillness, silence and the present itself.Because, if this moment cannot be enough on its own, how is the next one supposed to be?

We’re bound to live in a hamster-wheel always chasing the next high and die incomplete, not having moved an inch forward..

that’s unless we face that which we’re always anxiously running away from:
THE NOW.

Tribes across the world had their own version of a Vision Quest, which was an ancient rite of passage where young boys were casted out into nature by themselves without water or food.

They were meant to make a circle with stones and twigs which becomes their “medicine circle” and stay there for the whole time, asking for a vision.

Or in other words, asking for clarity around who they were and what they were here to do.

And they would come back to the tribe having become Men or not come back at all.

Men of clear purpose, direction and certainty about the essence of who they were.

Two years ago I run two groups of 30-40 people and the results in both occasions were impressive.

For some, it was way deeper than any coaching, self-development or medicine journey they had embarked on..

For some other, it was a meaningful first step towards developing a better relationship with themselves.

For how are you supposed to love someone you don’t trust?

And how can you trust someone you don’t know?..

And how to know someone you’ve rarely spent any time with?..

This is the issue for most people behind self-love (and behind clarity of direction)

They are distant from their truth and they keep postponing making time to sit with themselves and see what they find.

But the moment that you create a guided, safe space to go into silence and stillness, a door opens and magic ensues.

A woman gifted my first breath and a few others took it away. ♥️

Mother,
Sister,
Nature,
Lover.
Let me thank you today,
Before the day is over.

Medicine is the warmth
Of your loving embrace.
And few are the men who there
Fail to feel your grace.

Thank you!

For the strength and courage
To be a woman
In a world
That is just coming to terms
With honouring the place
You rightfully deserve.

Thank you!

For birthing,
Raising,
Nurturing,
Inspiring
And healing
This world
And many more.

For you are loving spirit
But also wild, fire soul.

You are nature,
Soothing waves
Burning coal.
Midnight’s moon
And wolves’ howl.

Thank you!

For your feminine grace
And ability to be the light
Through the challenges we face.

Thank you for the love
And for being love.
For that divine spark
Of a brave, yet tender heart.

What a gift…
If a woman you are!

For you are Goddess, Nature,
Mother, Sister,
Lover,
Star.

May the masculine learn to honour you properly,
So that in divine union and harmonious dance
We may play and co-create.



Thank you to all the wonderful women who have been a part of my life. ♥️

A person grounded in stillness, silence, serenity and balance is DEEPLY in their heart..

… not those compulsively ruled by their emotions.

Being enslaved and deluded by a volatile inner chemistry is NOT the same as being connected to one’s heart.

Unconscious emotionality is the result of a sick mind and unhealthy patterns of thinking that serve as fuel for the body to feel all sorts of things (pleasant and unpleasant)

Remember, your body is a wonderful machine, yet one very ruled by compulsions, survival, fear and desire.

So to “listen to one’s body” can be useful at times..

but sometimes the body is just horny and lazy..

And then, what will you listen to?

There’s no difference between that and the person who feels desire, apprehension, attachment, rejection, or any other emotion around a decision.. because it is all coming form their body.

Their choices are therefore clouded and blurred by their thinking and feelings..

However, THE HEART is at the source of emotions.

It is NOT the emotions.

It’s the silence from which the music breeds.

Yet if you confuse your canvas with your palette, you’re bound to make yourself a mess and wonder why it all turns out so ugly.

Follow your heart, YES.

But be intelligent enough to discern what comes from your heart and what does not.

Here’s a few practical pointers:

🔥Are you feeling emotionally charged or are you feeling grounded?
🔥Do you feel tension, fear and closure or do you feel at ease, open and curious?
🔥Are you basing your decisions based on your body or on something deeper?

And let me close by saying that emotions are not bad.

Sometimes anger, frustration and disappointment are what get you out of a bad relationship or a soul-sucking job.

But more often than not it is also fear, attachment, greed and lust what will keep you stuck in endless cycles of toxicty.

So emotions can be a great fuel for the ride, just one that isn’t always reliable.

Emotionally charged action can be great..

Clear, conscious, heart-based action is better.

♥️

No more relationship coaching.

💔

I felt I would be a hypocrite if I did not share about this, so here we go..

(Btw this is a medium length read so if you’re doom-scrolling, trying to get your next hit of dopameme, don’t even bother.)

Something REALLY BIG happened a couple of weeks ago.

Now before I share, let me give you some context..

I pride myself on living a life of integrity and being truthful..

The last time I said a white lie to my wife I almost threw up.

Literally.

Something within me made me so sick I started sweating and shaking and I knew I had to go back and tell her the truth.. (Even though it was something irrelevant and inconsequential.)

Those who are close to me know they can count on me to speak the truth – even when it is uncomfortable.

Especially when it is..

My mom now knows that although I receive her gifts with so much love.. If she asks me if I like them I’ll be honest with her.

And given that we have a different taste in jewellery and accessories, this made for some very awkward moments between us a few christmas ago 😂

“Nico! You could’ve told mom you liked her gift” my sister said after she found out mom had teared up over my response.

“But that would have been a lie..” I told my sister.. With my own heart breaking as well.

I did not like seeing our mother’s big fluffy heart in pain anymore than she did.

In a world where we’re coddled with softened words, pink glasses and white lies I stand for truth.

It may burn at first, but so does alcohol when disinfecting an infectious wound.

So whether it’s a virtue or a flaw, I’m committed to living a life of Truth.

A life of being TRUE to mySelf, first and foremost.

My Capital ‘S’ Self that is.

So a couple of weeks ago I wrapped up the launch of my recent program “The Language of Men”, having experienced record Webinar attendance and engagement in the promotions leading up to it, growing my FB group and email lists at exponential rates.. (almost doubled over a few weeks.)

For the first time this year I have been stopped in the middle of the street in different cities by strangers who were familiar with my relationship coaching work.

(Some because they followed it and loved it.. Some guys because their wife had sent it to them 😂)

I experienced post after post going viral, have been invited to dozens of podcasts and so much more..

However, in spite of all of this, right after the launch I felt profound grief.

It happened one evening after I delivered a Webinar that went incredibly well…

As soon as I closed my laptop I felt really off.

A turbulent mix of emotions moved throughout my body.

It was the very first time my wife had seen me like this in the past 5 years.

I can often take a couple of deep breaths and instantly regulate my mind and emotions, this time it was different.

It was too intense to manage.

“What’s going on, love?” she asked.

“I don’t know.. Something’s off.” I replied.

I wanted to cry, scream, grieve..

But grieve what?

If it was all going well.

Way better than well!

The next day as I was going through one of Jesse Elder’s lessons he shared something that echoed deeply.

I don’t recall correctly but it was about the importance of our Purpose, Path and Plan to be all aligned..

And when they’re not, we’re bound to feel off..

Purpose being Who we are and why we do what we do..

Path being the vehicle or expression we want to give to our Being..

Plan being the day-to-day granular tasks and single steps where the rubber meets the road.

Something about the way he communicated what it feels like to “be on purpose” highlighted the fact that maybe I was not that clear about this part myself.

So I went to the meditation room and laid down asking God to make it well known to me whether I was on the right path or not.. And if not.. Then what was it?

“What is my purpose?”

“What does my purpose want!?”

“How does the life that I am ache to be expressed?”

I shouted over and over.

Now, I know that our path of evolution is too big and too great to ever fall off it..

Yet I sensed that the coordinates I had set on my GPS were not fully accurate and my body and emotions were starting to tell me so.

So as I meditated on my purpose the insight came up:

“How does a Mango tree know that it is mangoes that he’s here to give?..

It’s all in the seed..

The mangoes, the tree, the finished fruit..

It’s all in the seed.”

Those were the words that came through.

I was left with that, perhaps more confused as I couldn’t see how knowing about trees and fruits had anything to do with my life.

(I’m not the best at riddles, what can I say!)

So I decided to take the next two days off to get to the bottom of this.

And as is our tradition, whenever we have a couple of open days we like to indulge in feel-good movies and heart-warming forms of entertainment with my wife.

We watched a couple of episodes of Avatar and we were also recommended to watch Dune 2, which we loved.

As we came back home, I sat on the sofa to continue reading a book titled “The Ultimate Coach” (written by Amy Hardison about Steve Hardison, a book that has nothing to do with coaching and everything to do with Being.)

As I read one of the chapters I was suddenly overtaken by very strong emotions..

So I made my way to the meditation room to be alone (I didn’t want to freak out my wife who was sitting next to me.)

And once I kneeled by my altar it all exploded…

Those of you who have had profound spiritual experiences, taken psychedelics or have sat with plant medicines before will know VERY WELL what I’m about to share.

In that moment it was as if the very veil of reality had become so thin that the synchronicities were too many to ignore and the source of creation had reached out from the other side..

Like the Creator winking, making itself known through his creation.

Breaking an eternal pact of mystery and silence to intervene…

Extending her loving hand in a moment of despair.

It felt just like that, visions and all.

I felt my heart break in a million pieces as forgotten memories of my childhood started to surface one after the other..

I remembered one of my very first memories as a child laying down on my school’s grass soccer field.

While the other kids played I was immersed in a deep trance staring at a blade of grass for what seemed like eternities.. Consumed by the beauty of life in its ‘simplest’ expressions.

Then another early memory was when -in conversation with my mother- I realised that my experience of reality was 100% of my creation, that everything I thought, saw, heard and felt was being processed within me and that therefore we all had our unique -yet interconnected- worlds.

I grew up thinking this was ‘Duh!’ kind of obvious to everyone else.. So it always shocked me when someone would say “you made me sad” “you hurt me” “you made me angry”..

Not understanding why someone would outsource their god-given gift to decide who & how they wanted to BE.

I recalled that as a kid I’d lock myself in the bedroom after grabbing my dad’s collection of Beethoven’s classical CD pieces.

I’d spend hours and hours listening to classical music and doodling what in retrospect I now recognize were not mere abstract child drawings but sacred geometry..

I remembered being 13 years old when I signed up for an email course on Egyptian esoterism and Gnostic wisdom.

They’d send me an email with word documents with the lessons and when I was ready, I would email them back and they would send a test that I had a few hours to respond to and if I passed, they’d forward me the next module.

I recalled the many months and long hours I spent reciting mantras, practising astral projection, and doing different forms of meditation as a child.

My parents were a bit weirded out when they’d see me out in the street in front of our house in a trance at 4am spinning in circles doing a specific sufi dervish dance.

Our highschool in Colombia was on top of a mountain and I vividly recalled spending the recess asking my friends to take their shoes and socks off, place their feet on the earth and guiding them through a meditation..

All the other kids that walked by and watched probably thought we were losers.

I did not care.

I was only 15 when I looked up the botanical gardens carrying the Ayawaska vine in my city because I wanted to go and see if I could sneak in and sleep next to it..

I remembered the first book I begged my parents to buy me being the Autobiography of a Yogi..

And it then took me a few weeks to pirate a digital version of the Bhagavad Gita in Microsoft Word, in Spanish.

Memory after memory started pouring in, together with a cascade of emotions..

I had just re-membered the seed.

My seed.

I remembered who I was and what I was here to do, before society’s influence, alcohol, hormones, sex and women consumed my teenage years and most of my 20’s.

I saw how my journey as a dating coach began as a quest to figure out my own insecurities around women, lack of self-worth and validation-seeking tendencies..

And I saw that as I had matured -thanks to a lot of inner work and the guidance of spiritual teachers and medicine men- I “upgraded” my role from dating coach to a ‘Sacred Relationships” one.

Same woman, new dress.

In that moment I felt a big shock go up my spine and a very loud and clear inner voice say:

“I am NOT a relationship coach.”

My stomach got tight, my eyes started swelling and my throat tensed up..

And I started sobbing.

And because when it rains it pours, in that exact moment an alarm I had set by mistake earlier that day went off..

The alarm ringtone it played was nothing other than “Krishna’s Flute”

That was the tipping point..

I sobbed harder.

It felt like divine confirmation.

And call me cheesy but I quickly remembered the Avatar episodes and the Dune movie and felt that life was trying to reflect -through every possible mirror- the very dilemma I found myself in.

The deep calling I’d been avoiding.

The deep knowing I’d rejected..

Because “I don’t want to be too woo-woo” you know!

As I cried I saw very clearly how the dating coaching journey started as a quest to feel more of a man myself..

I saw it was a mix of lust, compulsion and curiosity which led me to figure relationships out..

Then I met my wife and matured through the struggles we faced..

But I saw that deep inside, the spiritual path was the silver lining for me.

For me it has never ever been about relationships as much as it has been about truth and freedom.

As the tears kept coming I understood that “the seed” of who I am and what I am here to do had been so clear since my early years.

A conversation with my mother reaffirmed this as she shared with me a “Birthday letter” I’d handwritten back when I was 14, which she had kept in a little box of treasured memories.

This was my birthday wish back then:

“I kneel before the ascended masters and great teachers of the White Lodge and ask that you guide me in this new year to become but an instrument of thy will.

May your guidance polish me and sand down the rigid structures of my mind and ego, the many identities and attachments I’ve built around my emotions and body so that there is nothing left of me, so that I may live and act as a clear channel..”

There’s way more as it was a full letter-sized page.. But you get the point.

My jaw dropped.

I did NOT remember any of this.

I felt as if I was waking up from the haze of a dream that had been going for so long that it had started to seem like it was the real deal.

I noticed my mind’s concerns: “What are people gonna think?” “Who do you think you are?” “What are you going to do with your relationship work & clients?” and so much more..

I noticed my own judgments and fears about embracing what this seed was proposing.

I do not like most self-proclaimed “spiritual” people for they use platitudes and great ideas to hide their frustration towards the physical and their inability to be effective in the world..

In simpler terms, most people I have met who think of themselves as spiritual are woke and broke.

‘Spirituality’ is their crutch.

They lack a backbone and feet on the earth.

Only talk shop.

No embodiment.

No community.

No contribution.

No service.

No leadership.

“Spirituality” in a self-referencing & self-gratifying bubble is nothing but refined narcissism and subtle virtue-signalling..

It makes me want to throw up.

I am clear that true Spiritual growth cannot happen at the expense of what is physical and practical..

For mastery over the physical is a prerequisite if we ever stand a chance at opening up the doors to higher possibilities.

So as I wiped the tears off my face I felt deep relief.

The air smelled more fresh, the colours were more vibrant and I felt more alive than I’ve felt in many, many years! (and if you ask my wife, that means A LOT..)

I felt the freedom and lightness of being that only comes when we stop suppressing our truth.

I felt clear, inspired and in-tune with my heart like never before.

And in the spirit of sharing openly and having a transparent relationship with y’all I figured I’d let you know about this.

There is a part of my heart that breaks as I know many of you were looking forward to doing relationship work together..

Yet I’d be a hypocrite if I talk about love and truth while I betray myself.

I’d be out of integrity if I preach -yet do not practise- vulnerability.

Now, does this mean that I’m going to burn the ships and wipe the slate clean?

No.

Not yet..

But a ‘new’ course has been set and those of you that were here only for the relational tips may find yourselves better served in other circles.

This is me “officially hanging the shoes” as a relationship coach.

Something I NEVER thought I’d do…

But my heart no longer whispers, it shouts.

What comes next is currently brewing..

One thing I know for sure:

It will be much bigger.

Much more powerful.. (as all things that flow in harmony with life often are)

And of greater service than anything else I’ve ever done.

I feel it in my bones.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my journey.

I look forward to sharing with you what’s next.

🙏🏽
🔥

PS: I’m not one to just dump things and move on.

t feels appropriate to close on an inclusive note.

Even if it doesn’t happen, arrangements to publish a book on relationships are already being made so that my work and expertise does not die with my transition.

These will be my parting gifts to all of you who have supported me through the years.

This industry became a place of nourishment and service, thanks to which today I experience a marriage and depth of love that I never imagined would be possible.

I love you all and I appreciate you if you’ve read this far.

And as I shed my skin and reorient myself to my true north, I hope you’ll find something beautiful, useful and worthy sticking around for in this journey.

I felt like I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t share this and now that I’ve done so it feels like a weight is off my chest.

Like an overdue confession I did not even know I had to make.

Thank you for receiving this with an open heart.

What a wild, beautiful and unpredictable life we live!

Love you,

❤️

Nicolas Canon