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The word “Family” comes from the latin ‘famulus’ which means both servant / slave


And the only difference between a servant and a slave is choice

A servant is a chosen, honourable role of caring for something/someone of importance

A slave is -in simplified terms- the imposition of servitude: forcing someone to care for something/someone

One is fuelled by devotion, the other by oppression

In most family environments control and obligation are the foundations

Partners have a tendency towards controlling their ‘loved’ one

The husband ,unable to draw clear boundaries and make conscious, assertive choices, ends up serving his wife out of habit and fear of upsetting her. Rarely out of love and devotion

The wife, scared of being on her own/being her own person, ends up serving his husband and children out of attachment and fear of abandonment. Rarely out of sacred surrender and love

The dysfunction inside a family starts the moment that service is expected (and forcefully demanded) instead of inspired & celebrated

The moment you become entitled to your lover’s attention, time and energy – just because they’re your lover – you are staining the beauty of their service to you

You’re making a slave out of them, leaving them without choice but to please you. (even if it displeases them)

And unless they’re into that sort of master/slave roleplay, it won’t go well 😂

Their “love” will be blurred by resentment and their “good behaviour” will be nothing short of coward obedience

Fragrant flowers have no need to force bees to help them pollinate and turn their nectar into the sweetest honey..

If you tend to your mental, emotional and energetic structure in a certain way, the very fragrance of your essence will make it close to impossible to those around you to not want to bask in that sweetness

And while there are many methods and practices to cultivate yourself to such a place, here’s the foundational ‘secret’:

For others to fall deeply in love with you, you must fall deeply in love with them first

You cannot expect for someone to give you their best, when you’re handing out breadcrumbs.

If you want to receive with open arms you must first uncross them