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The only problem with Masculinity is that there’s not enough of it. 👊🏼🔥

February 29, 2024


I’m sure this post will get me in trouble with those committed to vilifying men.

Those delusional enough to somehow imagine a house will become stronger by weakening its structure..

Dismissing all the weight that is held and carried by its foundations..

For those who only know the dark side of the masculine, it all smells of danger, tyranny and abuse.

But the fire that burns is also the one that cooks and provides light and warmth..

Context is essential.

Yesterday I joined @zarakfatah and @briancoones for an evening dinner where Men gathered to connect with each other, leaving work aside, and opening up about what’s really going on underneath all the noise and daily grind.

The more men I hang out with the more I realize that most of us are not business owners, we’re owned by our busy-ness.

So back to the dinner, as we went around the table sharing our stories and challenges I was reminded we’re all on the same boat.

We’re a generation of men without elders.

We all had either a weak, abusive or absent father. 

Best case scenario he was kind yet worked so hard to provide he failed to provide what we most needed growing up: His Love & Presence. 

Nobody taught us what it meant to be a man..

So as we shot in the dark trying to be “good men”, we missed A LOT..

Workaholism, anger, insecurity, overwhelm, stress, restlessness and the underlying inability to slow down are some of the side effects men share..

Symptoms of winging the “being a Man” thing all along. 

Looking around I saw myself in every other man.

The relentless drive, the single-pointed focus, the big responsibilities, high-standards and devotion to our work..

Paired with a good, yet often neglected heart.

We need new models of masculinity where integrity and presence become more important metrics than piling numbers in our bank accounts.

We need Men connected to something greater AND grounded in reality to initiate the newer generations.

Last night I remembered that a woman can birth a boy..

But a boy turning into a Man..
That’s a Man’s work.

That is Men’s Work.

& we need WAY more of that.