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The Secret to stop suffering (Men)

March 11, 2022

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If you have achieved a decent amount of success and still feel that your life seems limited and constricted by a few underlying fears and anxieties, keep reading.

I bet that if it came down to it, you would have no problem jumping out of an airplane…

Or climbing and walking the edge of a very high mountain…

Or finding the stillness to touch a spider, snake or a ______ (insert animal people are often afraid of).

Most people imagine that these are the most common fears, and they are wrong. Facing these fears can be exciting but often of little consequence in one’s life, Why?

The fears that matter the most – and are most difficult to face – are not outside of us. They reside in your head, heart and body.

Some of these are:

  • The fear of speaking up.
  • The fear of heavy emotions (yours and others).
  • The fear of being alone.
  • The fear of failure.
  • The fear of rejection and abandonment.
  • The fear of an anxious mind.
  • The fear of hopelessness (which can be summed up as the fear of death & the fear of life).

It doesn’t matter how many figures are in your bank account at the end of the month if you’re still afraid to face what you’ve been running from. Financial freedom without internal freedom is one of the biggest pains a person will ever experience.

Because what’s the use of having money if you cannot fully enjoy it? A lot of cash is great, but if your relationship with your self and with others is fear-inducing you’re not better than a drug lord locked in jail.

You can count your assets all day long, but your experience of life will forever be limited, so what to do?

Well, if you want to FINALLY be able to enjoy the fruits of your hard work without the constant feeling of uneasiness (of not being good enough, of things heading towards failure, of not liking yourself) you need to face one fear. “The fear of your Self.

You must look within into every dark corner of your mind and heart. And not flinch at what may come up, nor judge, shame, attack or reject it. Simple (although not always easy)

Most overachievers drive comes from seeking an external relief to their inner chaos:

Their emotions and mind are in a storm and gaining mastery over the physical world (status, money, recognition, toys, friends and lovers) provides a temporary relief… An imaginary sense of peace and control. But you know it only lasts so long before those uncomfortable emotions come back up and your mind starts thinking what to conquer next.

However, life doesn’t have to be like this.

Walking this path is easier when you’ve got someone with a torch ahead of you, holding your hand when needed. Not because you can’t do it all alone, but because you know your time matters and you’re ready to sort this out for once.

So that the rest of your life becomes a constant celebration of your inner peace, bliss and joy.

And not an attempt to fill in a void.

Nicolas Canon
Nico Canon is an artist, writer and dating coach. His art and writing are about reclaiming our right to be seduced by our lives and relationships. Through his work he explores the links between people and their deepest and rawest desires, opening up a bridge of self-expression and acceptance.

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