So what is the difference between the masculine and the feminine? and what are the characteristics of each of these energies? In this article I explore in depth these two aspects of the human soul and how to navigate them in relationships.
The masculine is mainly concerned with Consciousness✨
The feminine is mainly concerned with Love❤️
The masculine practice is to be able to reach deep stillness, awareness and penetrative power over the present moment: providing leadership, direction, a safe container, wisdom and provision. (King Energy)
The feminine practice is to able to reach deep surrender, intuition and fully trust the flow of the infinite present moment: providing nourishment, emotion, aliveness, grace and graciousness. (Queen Energy)
I heard this metaphor once and it feels very relevant:
⚓️ Masculine energy is the skilled sailor.
🌊 Feminine energy is the weather.
⛵️The relationship is the boat:
It cannot get anywhere without a harmonious cooperation from both!
You can have great masculine leadership, yet without the emotion and devotion of the feminine – the relationship will flatten out. He will tire and leave or stay, disconnect and resent..
You can have great feminine nourishing love , yet without the direction of the masculine – the relationship will feel overwhelming and confusing. There will be plenty of emotions yet zero safety. She will tire and leave or stay, disconnect and resent..
So our spiritual relational practice is this:
As a man – to enhance Love’s presence by your commitment to deep consciousness.
As a woman – to inspire deep consciousness through your commitment to surrendered love.
Practically, a healthy masculine partner will allow you to feel safe, provided and trusting of his leadership (and therefore life)
The way he relates with you, himself and the world creates a space that invites you to share more of your love.
More of your beauty.
To blossom fearlessly.
A healthy feminine partner will allow you to feel loved, nourished, seen and understood.
The way she relates with you, herself and the world creates a feeling that invites you to be a better man and step up your conscious leadership.
Bring more of your direction.
More of your protection.
More of your erection.
A man who has trouble getting his life together, leading consciously, providing and caring for what he loves is still caught up in little boy energy.
Any fear to lead shows a disconnection from his penetrative power and a resentment/revenge towards the feminine.
This happens most often in men that grew up with an absent (or unreliable) male figure and/or an overprotective, needy mother.
He grows to distrust the Masculine and therefore denies himself of its expression.
So he grows to resent the feminine and every partner becomes an opportunity to repeat the child-mother trauma dynamic, or just a plain revenge on his mother (by seeking to date women that are, in hindsight, the polar opposite)
A woman who has trouble releasing the agendas, letting go, feeling, loving and surrendering to the moment is still caught up in little girl energy. Any fear to surrender shows a disconnection from her emotional world and a mistrust/fear of the masculine.
This happens most often in women that grew up with an overbearing or weak mother, and an unreliable father.
She grows to distrust femininity because it reminds her of her mother’s weakness. She notices that the Masculine will not wear the pants or lead consciously in the relationship and therefore she must be the one wearing them.
So she either emasculates her partners or surrenders her power to toxic unreliable men – to reaffirm her notion that masculine leadership is not to be trusted.
This is why it is utmost important to be aware where our internal relationship is in regards to these two energies:
How do I feel about The Masculine?
How do I feel about The Feminine?
Do I trust women to love me – or am I afraid of being used, controlled and caged?
Do I trust men to lead me – or am I afraid of being misled, abandoned and hurt?
If we’ve experienced hurt by one of the parental figures that represented these energies, we usually internalize it and become a walking rebellion towards it.
For example, a woman whose father was abusive towards her mother may see everything that smells of masculine energy as a threat. Including her own masculinity.
This woman may have a hard time finishing projects, being organized, developing discipline and keeping focus for a long period of time. Her rebellion against the masculine has her fear her own inner leadership.
She is afraid of becoming a tyrant to herself (like her father was to her mother) so she does not demand anything of herself – or gives up soon after.
For example, a man whose mother was overprotective and emotionally needy may see everything that smells of feminine energy as a threat. Including his own femininity.
This man may have a hard time having empathy, connecting, understanding and expressing his emotions, committing to deep relationships and prioritizing self-care when needed. His rebellion towards the feminine has him fear his own emotional world.
He is afraid he will be consumed or enslaved by his own emotions (like his mother was) so he does not dare to go there – or goes there blindly (has reactive explosions).
So in a relationship remember to first tend to your inner connection to these two energies. Most of what we accuse our partners of is of our own creation and projection.
Yet if you have done the work, keep an eye for potential partners who also have.
When aligned, it feels like this:
The masculine is the stable house.
The feminine is the feeling of home.
The masculine makes it possible, the feminine makes it worth it.
He is the sacred space.
She is the magic.
PS: Most of the things that hold us back from feeling love and loving the right people are subconscious. They go back to patterns developed all the way from childbirth. Invisible threads rigging our every interaction.
You could spend countless years bumping against the same issues and not see much progress because these are not things you just “get over with” or “let go” – they have deep roots that must be seen, understood and healed.
You take care of the soil and flowers bloom with easy. But no amount of willpower and effort on infertile soil will ever breed any results.
So for solid, sustained, profound transformation there is ONE KEY that most people forget.
I wrote about it HERE.
If you feel called, I’m hosting a retreat in Medellin, Colombia where we deep dive on a 5 days workshop before going on a 5 days ayahuasca retreat.
We will integrate different coaching, yogic, tantric and embodiment practices to prime our minds, bodys and hearts to a deeply profound (yet safe) plant medicine journey guided by an indigenous Colombian shaman.
If you feel called to do this work and free up all the stuck energy that has you go in repetitive circles and unhealthy patterns of relating
Here’s the link: