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One of the reasons @tumi.anastasiya inspired me to want to marry her, even though I used to swear against marriage, is this:


– She was a big YES to my leadership.

She celebrated it with joy.

Throughout the years I had met incredible women who -in spite of “having it together”- were not a good match.

My invitations would sometimes be met with hesitation, resistance and overthinking.

Nothing wrong with that; for some people thrive in connecting from a very safe, carefully managed and controlled place..

But I’m not made like this.

I’m like fire, and I see what’s possible with people and call it out right away; often.

In work, friendships and love.

In relationships this has meant a level of intensity beyond what most women are used to, and that’s okay.

With Anastasiya it started effortlessly..

with random adventures in Bali, visiting her in Russia, and inviting her to come for a month to Colombia where we attended our very first plant medicine retreat.

Our first few dates were each in different countries.

Little did we know we’d end up spending covid together and moving into an Ayahuasca community, living in the sacred forests and supporting the construction of their temple.

We’ve often traveled 6+ months of the year; explored new places and gone on deep dives when it comes to our spiritual journey.

From visiting chiefs of indigenous reserves, to attending special consecration ceremonies with Yogi mystics, and exploring play and community in-between.

With her, adventure has felt effortless.

She trusts me and celebrates my leadership.

And when needed, lovingly reminds me when I fall asleep at the wheel.

I married her because there’s symmetry in the depth of devotion we have for each other and the overall vision we have for life.

(Other than this being the last round for me and her saying she’d want one more life together 😂😅)

In love, like in engineering, if there’s no symmetry there’s bound to be friction.

So find someone who’s a big yes to who you are, instead of bitterly settling for someone who merely sees you as a ‘maybe’.

One will fuel the fire that you are,
the other will turn in down.

Choose well.