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I used to have this distorted idea of love.


I thought it was a rare happening that you experienced with very few, select romantic partners throughout your life.

I also thought it was something the other had to earn.

The words “I love you” were deeply feared, for they established vulnerability.

They meant I had dropped my guard enough to allow the other inside my heart..

So I kept them hidden and locked in a box, and would never speak them in a relationship unless the other had done so first.

An unconscious game of trying to keep the emotional upper-hand and always trying to give just a little less than the other, to keep my heart safe.

I felt Love was a burden, enslaving, consuming and pain inducing.

Yet in recent years I discovered that the only pain and burden lied in trying to keep it locked in.

For love is a state of being that does not need anything or anyone for it to arise within us.

I saw that love is a way of being; and being in love means that’s where you reside.

So to say “I love you” had everything to do with me, and often little to do with the other.

So I chose to be in love and to voice it often..

To men, women, elder, children, family, lovers and friends alike.

“I love you” has become a part of my daily vocabulary, even in the face of awkward, surprised, love-constipated friends and strangers..

I giggle when I see them pull back just a little, shorten their breath and tense up- for they still think that love comes with expectations and a collection date..

And as I utter these words more and more, from my heart, I find them inevitably coming back from all places.

This is the year where I’ve heard “I love you” the most times, from both men and women.

People I meet tell me that.
People I’ve known tell me that.
Even nature, as I walk, tells me that.

Who would’ve thought?

That to be in love would be such a contagious choice..

And to live in love and with an open heart, such a rewarding adventure.

I love you!

I really do.

I hope you find within yourself the courage to love -and verbally express it- too!