This is the final and most recent lesson I have come across in my first 25 laps around the sun:
Everything is available to me, at all times.
What do I mean by this?
I have noticed that regardless of how good or bad our current situation may seem, we always have access to every emotion we can think of, and we will always feel that we are ‘right’ (and have a reason to feel that way).
We often see millionaires stressing about money every time the stock market takes a plunge while the homeless man around the corner seems in bliss and total gratitude when a kind person buys him food. In this specific situation, gratitude and scarcity are both available to both individuals. The only difference being what they choose to focus on.
I have witnessed the power of this in my own relationships. I have been surrounded by beautiful landscapes, breathtaking views, warm weather and tropical breeze, no responsibilities to attend and just complete days to share and enjoy together with my partner, and seen her spiral down into all that was wrong. If not at the moment, something that happened a few months ago, or something that MIGHT happen in the future. Fear and pain clouding what would otherwise be a perfect romantic scene.
On the other hand, I have also seen her be the most loving, empathetic, cheerful and happily loving woman in the middle of the worst chaos, in moments when I was the least grounded and my integrity crumbled. In moments that even I thought I deserved some sort of emotional punishment.
And god! did it make a difference!
We have access to the deepest love and appreciation for our loved ones, even during those times where the circumstances tell us otherwise. We also have access to the deepest fears, pain, regrets, frustrations and insecurities related to our loved ones, even at times where everything seems to be perfect.
And this doesn’t mean to ignore the inherent challenges that come with life and ‘be positive’ and smily all the time. Not at all. We can still keep our mind on our goals (a healthy relationship, body, workplace, etc.) without the added mental baggage that we tend to add.
I have not seen any poor person complain her way to wealth, or an overweight one argue his kilos of fat away. Or any problem being solved by focusing on the problem instead of the solution.
Transformation comes when we are able to acknowledge the reality of a situation and turn our sight towards where we are heading.
This is a habit and a skill that only you can gift to yourself.
It is easy to be in flow when everything is going smooth, the real challenge is to access that deep unconditional love when the storm comes.
I heard someone say once that those people who are hard to love are the ones who need it the most. All of us have moments where it is hard for our closed ones to love us. What a difference it would make if instead of disconnecting from one another when the ship started shaking, we held hands, hugged tight, kissed and made love.
Imagine if we fucked and hugged our way through the storm!
I end with an invitation.
I invite you to CHOOSE love, happiness, pleasure and joy in the face of challenge.
I invite you to look at the blank canvas that is your life, and at the wide range of colours you hold in your emotional palette. What will you paint today? what layers are you going to add?
How would a life turned a masterpiece look like?
If you enjoyed this and you feel there are people in your circles who may find this useful, I’d love if you shared it!
I dream of a world where conflict is not solved through war but through love, connection and empathy. The more people we reach together, the more we can add up our $0.02 🙂