When is the last time you died? Courtains down. Show over. Silence.

When is the last time your heart stopped? Time disappeared and your idea of who you were ashed away. No “I” to refer back to.

When was the last time you faced the end of it all? And how did you feel?

Were you ready, open heart chest forward and steady gaze to cross that line? Proud of what you did on this earth. Proud of how you showed up.

Were you at peace? Having loved as much as you could. Forgiven those who wronged you.

Responsibility taken and apologies given to those you wronged?

Were you happy? Sitting on a life well lived. Having gone for that which you wanted unapologetically. Or did you carry regrets? Breadcrumbs of bitterness over failed pasts. Resentments all around family and closed ones. Half assed transactional love stories and empty moments.

Did you focus so much on surviving you forgot to live? Pay check to pay check. Meeting to meeting. Clocking in and out.

Yes.

YOU.

I’m talking to you.

Are you really living or just slowly dying?

This year I faced death in a few different occasions and for different reasons. I crossed past that line and saw the reel of my life play before me. First time it was scary and anxiety inducing. Second time I was grounded, prepared and supported through the process. Third time it felt like known lands. All three times I died. Literally and figuratively.

Died to who I thought was and what I thought was important. Died to old ways of seeing the world. Died to obsolete ways of loving and being. And on the way back ,besides a blank canvas, I brought with me a burning desire to live and a deepened, magical connection to everything: Nature, my body, my heart and that of others.

There are things I’ve experienced that I don’t know if I’m ready to share. But this is my main Takeaway:

It is only when we embrace death that we get to truly live… We act like mortals in all that we fear, and like immortals in all we desire, always falsely assuming we will have another day. But one day we won’t! And that could be today.

So go out and LIVE! But first, DIE to all that you are NOT.

– Nico