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Coaching hundreds of men and women over the past 7+ years, I found out there are two main groups:

March 25, 2024


✅Those who take responsibility for their circumstances
❌Those who feel at the mercy of them

Let’s use a quick example:
A woman cheats on a guy

He examines how he contributed to her cheating on him
He explores how he may have taken her for granted
He acknowledges the ways in which he didn’t love fully
He recognizes what he can improve in the future to create a safer and more fulfilling space for his partner
He OWNS the fact that he chose her

And from this place he can:
Realize that his choice in a partner was not good and decide to have higher standards in the future


Give the relationship a second chance, taking into account all the ways in which he may have contributed to her cheating.

There’s no right or wrong as every relationship is nuanced (especially when there’s children involved)

However, assuming responsibility leaves him empowered:

✅The ball is in his court
✅He gets to decide how to move forward
✅He gets to learn, heal and grow

He gets to be a different man and attract a different woman (or a different side from his woman)

The pain of being cheated on is therefore alchemized into lessons, growth, self-awareness, accountability and personal power

Now, let’s look at the other possibility

She cheats on him and he reacts by creating stories

❌I’m not good, attractive, wealthy, smart enough
❌All women are b!T($#S
❌Women are cheaters
❌You shouldn’t trust people
❌Relationships are a painful waste of time


Absent responsibility means he places himself as a victim of the circumstances and as the martyr

Therefore, it is the world, the women and everyone else that must be fixed

Lack of responsibility creates a closure and withdrawal of one’s heart

And the worst part is that it leaves the person powerless, because it is impossible to change someone else’s behaviour

The same situation wounds one person,
and makes wiser the next one

The difference?

One took 100% responsibility,
while the other complained and pointed fingers